This story is written by David, please send comments and appreciation to voondave@yahoo.co.uk

COMMUNITY SERVICE.  Part 1.  by  david. 

The long suffering citizens of Britain wanted change,and were demanding change.And now,change was coming,in the form of a female whirlwind,that would sweep through the land,tearing up the very roots of the old establishments,and in it’s wake,sow it’s own seeds,of female power,and domination.

For a long time,far too long,the people of Britain,male as well as female,were fed up,and finally lost patience with the inept,inefficient,and ineffective manner,that the predominantly male Government was running the country,and with the shocking,obscene,wasteful profligacy with which the Government squandered the tax revenue of the hard working Labour Force.And,underpinning this dissatisfaction,there was a growing anger,too,from the workforce,that the tax that was deducted from their hard earned wages,was being spent on the idlers and the malingerers,of the Long Term Unemployed.

Yes,it was difficult,these days,to find work in the current downturn of the economic climate,but,it was felt by the workers that there were jobs out there,and that if the rank and file of the Long Term Unemployed genuinely wanted to work,wanted to earn their living,then they would find those jobs,and cease to be a burden upon Society.

And so,it was to this background of public dissatisfaction with the current incumbents of Government,that the Winds Of Change blew across the country,and the A.F.P.,the Authoritarian Female Party,with their motto of ‘Hard But Fair’,and with their election manifesto full of promises of fairer taxation,more rights for females,and,above all,their promise to shrink the Dole queue,to swiftly put the workshy malingerers of the Long Term Unemployed to work,it was to this background,that the A.F.P.,the Authoritarian Female Party,were swept to power,in an all time record landslide victory.And the streets were filled to overflowing,with joyful,celebrating crowds.Thousands of A.F.P.flags,with their distinctive colours of blue,green,red,and yellow quarters,fluttered and waved in a frenzy of happiness,welcoming in this ‘New Age’,the advent,of the A.F.P.,the Authoritarian Female Party. 

And,I celebrated along with everyone else,for,as a man of 52,and a soon to be member of the Long Term Unemployed,myself (6 months),I was increasingly frustrated at not being able to find a new job,after being made redundant from my job of 35 years,and which I started immediately upon leaving school,as it was exceedingly difficult,these days,for someone like myself,aged 52,and with no skills or qualifications,to speak of,try as I might,to find work,of any kind.Indeed,on Election Day,I was actually the first person to enter my local polling booth,and cast my vote,carefully placing my ‘X’ next to the box marked A.F.P.Yes,I thought to myself,that Friday evening,on the day of that momentous and meteoric landslide victory for the A.F.P.,as I celebrated quietly,at home,with a bottle of red wine, that I could ill afford,but easily managing to justify such decadence,on such an occasion as this.Yes,I thought,things would be different now,under this new Government,under the rule of the A.F.P.,under the Authoritarian Female Party. And,they were. Listening closely to the news on T.V.,and watching the A.F.P. political broadcasts on the Saturday and Sunday immediately following their unprecedented rise to power,I was gradually filled with an unease,a sense of growing disquiet,and,by the end of Sunday evening,trepidation,and dread.

Over that weekend,all over the country,the A.F.P.,the Authoritarian Female Party,had galvanized their Party Membership into a feverish,purposeful,ant-like activity,preparing for Government,and the installation of their ‘New Age’ Governmental apparatus.They announced to the population of Britain,that,not only the new Prime Minister,Caroline Flint,and her entire Cabinet of female Ministers,but that every Authoritarian Female Party M.P.,in every town and city in the country,would,of course,be female.They had promised fairer taxation,and now,they would deliver on their promise.The Prime Minister,Caroline Flint,announced that,from Monday,the first day that the Authoritarian Female Party took office,and assumed the seats of Government,that all females would be totally exempt,from paying income tax.Their tax burden,would become a thing of the past,and would now be passed on to the male workforce.And the Prime Minister,Caroline Flint,went on to assure the British public that there would be many more such changes,in the interests of fairness to females,and that the population would be informed of these changes,as and when they became law.Meanwhile,though,the Community Services Minister,Madeline Steel,announced that,effective from Monday,when the Authoritarian Female Party officially assumed the seats of the British Government,that,all Long Term Unemployed (over 6 months) males,would be made to work for their Unemployment Benefit Payments,under the new Community Services Bill,until they found gainful employment,as Community Servants.And that,furthermore,new jobs were being created,as a direct result of this measure,for the female unemployed,for those females who chose to accept them,as Community Service Officers.These Community Service Officers,would be vital cogs,that would ensure that the Government machine ran smoothly.Their important role,would be to escort,guard,instruct,supervise,and,when they deem it necessary,to ‘chastise’ their charges,the Community Servants.The Community Service Officers (C.S.O’s),would be armed,with the symbols of their authority,canes,and would be free to use them,at their discretion.The Community Services Minister,Madeline Steel,further announced,that Job Centres all over the country were being kept open,all over the weekend,to enable those unemployed females who felt that this line of work was particularly suited to them,and who felt that it was ‘right up their street’,could sign up,as Community Service Officers.The wages,for Community Service Officers,would be £10.per hour.A standard 40 hour week,would pay £400.All other female unemployed,not wishing to avail themselves of this new employment opportunity,would,with effect as of Monday,have their Unemplyment Benefit tripled,to £240.per week,until such employment opportunities more to their liking, became available to them.Finally,and ominously,the Community Services Minister,Madeline Steel,announced that,by Order of the new Government,all Long Term unemployed males must remain at their home address,on Monday.This A.F.P. broadcast was repeated frequently,throughout the weekend,and the faces of the new Prime Minister,Caroline Flint,the Community Services Minister,Madeline Steel,and various other Cabinet Ministers,were never absent for long,from my T.V. screen.

I did not sleep well,that Sunday night.My fevered mind,would give me no peace,and sleep,was an impossible dream,and for most of the night,I lay awake with worry,waiting to take my first step into the unknown,the next day,Monday.

On that Monday morning,on the dawn of this ‘New Age’,as it had been dubbed by the press,as a member of the Long Term male unemployed,I remained ‘confined to barracks’,as ordered by the Community Services Minister,Madeline Steel.As I watched T.V.,it became apparent to me,that there was a world wide groundswell of approval and support,for the new British political model,as represented by the A.F.P.,the Authoritarian Female Party,and there was now underway,a global clamour for it’s adoption,by a sudden proliferation of ‘New Age’ movements,gathering strength and momentum.The T.V. news programmes,and ‘talk shows’,were dominated by one topic,and one topic only,as the possible ramifications of the rise to power of the A.F.P.,the Authoritarian Female Party,were discussed endlessly,the items of discussion,seemingly inexhaustible,and the female contributors to these discussions,could not keep the excitement out of their voices,or the new light,that seemed to shine out from their eyes.

Then,at exactly 8.a.m.,it was the end of life,as I knew it.For,looking out of my front window,I saw a white van stop at the kerb outside my house,bearing the Authoritarian Female Party insignia,a flag of blue,green,red,and yellow quarters,on the side,along with the Party Motto,of ‘Hard But Fair’,and,in black capitals,were the letters A.F.P. on the doors.As I watched,the T.V.,just a noise in the background that now only vaguely registered,two young females,who I estimated to be still only in their late teens,and who both had slightly longer than shoulder length blonde hair,tied in pony tails,emerged from the van.They were both very strikingly attractive,I thought (a term that would come back to haunt me,later).They were dressed,also strikingly attractively,in the uniform of the Authoritarian Female Party (to which they automatically became Members,immediately upon being employed by the Party).Their very distinctive uniforms were made up of the Party colours,of blue blazer,green blouse,red,short skirt,and yellow cotton ankle socks.On their feet,they wore the A.F.P. issue footwear,that were very comfortable looking black,backless,rubber soled shoes,like clogs.And,in their hands,they held the symbol of their authority,their canes.They were,of course,Community Service Officers (C.S.O.’s).

When they saw me watching them through my front window,one of them pointed her finger at my front door,in an unmistakable command,and casually,and swaggeringly,with the power and authority of their new positions having already gone straight to their pretty young heads,they made their way to my front door.Turning from the window,I turned off the T.V.,and the beautiful,but stern face of the new Prime Minister,Caroline Flint,who had been assuring the British public that her Government would not fail to keep their promises,but would vigorously pursue the speedy implementation of their policies,disappeared from the screen.When an impatient knock with their canes rattled against my door,I hurried to open it to them.When I did,the two young Community Service Officers looked at me for long moments,chewing gum,and blowing bubbles with it,till they burst,and they could not prevent the corners of their pretty mouths from forming a smile of amusement,and mockery,as they enjoyed my discomfiture,and revelled,in my predicament.

As I looked down my street,I saw people standing at their front doors,viewing the proceedings.The two young Community Service Officers,continued to chew their gum,and blow bubbles till they burst,and smile at me,and,as they did so,they both slipped a foot out of their clogs,and they flexed and scrunched their toes,in their yellow cotton ankle socks,and,it seemed to me,as though this was somehow an unconscious,absent minded expression of their pleasure,rather than simply that their feet were hurting them.After what seemed an uncomfortably long time to me,but was probably only about a minute or so,one of the Community Service Officers stopped chewing gum,and blowing bubbles till they burst,for long enough to say to me,”are you david?”.”Yes”,I replied,querulously.”I am C.S.O Karen,and this is C.S.O Linda”,she informed me,introducing themselves,like two Police Women.Then ,C.S.O Karen produced a folded sheet of paper from the breast pocket of her green,uniform blouse,and then she smiled at me,as she read from it.”I,C.S.O.Karen,by the powers vested in me,by the A.F.P.,hereby serve a Community Service Order on you,david,unemployed for 6 months today,to accompany me,to the Community Services Operations Centre,for the purpose of being assigned to your duties as a Community Servant,by the Community Services Liaison Officer.Do you understand,david?”,asked the young Community Service Officer,thoroughly warming to her new role,and quickly finding herself very much at home,in it,and who herself,had been unemployed only last Friday,on Unemployment Benefit of £80.per week,the same as myself.”Yes”,I replied.Then,C.S.O.Karen stepped up,very close to me,her pretty,arrogant young face,so close to mine that I could smell her sweet,chewing gum breath,and said,sweetly,yet,at the same time,there was no mistaking the authority in her voice,”from now on,you will address all Community Service Officers,by the term ‘Miss’.I am Miss Karen,and this is Miss Linda.Do you understand,david?”.As they watched a stunned,disbelieving expression insinuate itself across the features of my face,they waited for my reply,and,switching from one foot to the other,they slipped their foot from their other clog,and they flexed and scrunched the toes of their other foot,and then,showing the first signs of their impatience with me,they ceased flexing their toes,and instead started to flex their canes in their hands,until,just as their patience was about to run out,I replied,”yes,Miss Karen”.

Then,without further ceremony,C.S.O’s Karen and Linda each grabbed one of my arms,and marched me to the back of their van.Then,upon opening the doors,which were marked with the black capital letters A.F.P.,it was C.S.O.Linda,who ordered,”get in,david”.Then,as I did as C.S.O.Linda ordered,the sentiments of my neighbours followed me,into the back of the van -: “yes! The lazy sod!”,and,”about time he did some work!”,and,”ha ha ha!,they will soon sort you out,david!”,left me in little doubt,of the opinion of my neighbours,as to the rightfulness,of my ‘arrest’.Then,after enjoying these reactions from my neighbours,and pleased that they were acting with the full backing and approval of the general public,C.S.O.Linda got into the back of their van,after me,and sat on the bench seat opposite me,and she smiled at me,pleasantly,with her cane in her hand.Then,she slipped her yellow cotton ankle socked feet from her black clogs,stretched out her legs towards me,and placed her feet on my bench seat,between my legs,and continued to smile at me,as she flexed,wiggled,and scrunched her toes.Then,she raised her right foot,level with my chest,and,her pretty,smiling face,a picture of pure,arrogant confidence,she ordered,”start massaging my feet,david”.Intuiting the dominant,ruthless nature of this new breed of Community Service Officers,and of this new,female regime,and also of the sheer,self destructive folly,of failing to immediately obey the commands,of the Community Service Officers,I gently took hold of C.S.O.Linda’s right foot in both of my hands,and said,”Yes,Miss Linda”,as I began to massage her yellow cotton ankle socked right foot,that felt moist,in my hands,and I saw that her sock was grimy,and sweat stained,at her heel,the ball of her foot,and at her toes,but,I was very careful not to show my distaste.C.S.O.Linda smiled,closed her eyes,and sighed,contentedly,as she said to C.S.O.Karen,who was watching me,in her rear view mirror,massaging C.S.O.Linda’s yellow cotton ankle socked right foot,before she started the van’s engine,to escort me to the Community Services Opperations Centre,”oh,Karen! I think I am going to enjoy working for the Authoritarian Female Party!”.

It was only a short,10 minute drive,to the Community Services Opperations Centre,which is based in Town,and,upon our arrival there,I was escorted inside the building,by C.S.O’s Karen and Linda,to be presented to the Community Services Liaison Officer.When we got to her Reception Desk,the Community Services Liaison Officer regarded me haughtily,for a moment,before enquiring of my escorts,”what have we got here then,girls?”.To which Community Officer Karen,replied,”this is Community Servant david,Madam,unemployed for 6 months,and reporting for duty”.Armed with this information,the Liaison Officer proceeded to the shelves behind her,and looked along the rows of cardboard boxes,each marked with the Party colours,of blue,green,red,and rellow squares,until she found the one she was looking for.When she found it,she took it from the shelf,and she returned with it,to her Reception Desk.On the top of the box,a label read,’Community Servant david 007’.This raised a laugh,from C.S.O.’s Karen and Linda,and from the Liaison Officer,though,this merely meant that I was the 7^th david on the Community Servant’s work list.When they had calmed down from their mirth,sufficiently,the Liaison Officer informed me,”in this box,david,is your Community Servant’s uniform,of white T shirt,white shorts,of which you have 6 of each,and which you must wash and press to a high standard,yourself,and 2 pairs of flip flops,as there will be a lot of water,where you will be working.You will put your uniform on,before you leave this building.From now on,david,or until you can find gainful employment,you will be working,for your Unemployment Benefit,of £80.per week.Your hours of duty,are from 8.a.m. – 5.p.m.,from Monday – Friday,with 2,15 minute breaks,and half an hour for your lunch break.This means that,working a standard 40 hour week,you will be earning £2.per hour.Now,david,until further notice,or until you can find a job of gainful employment,I have assigned you to work in the Town’s ‘Sock Room’,and C.S.O.’s Karen and Linda,here,have been detailed to guard,and supervise you,and to inspect your work,to ensure that you perform your duties to the highest possible standard of quality,and they have full authority,to ‘chastise’ you,on any,and every occasion,that you fail to pass their inspections of your work.Now,girls,get him out of my sight,and put him to work!” “Yes,Madam,straight away!”,replied C.S.O.Karen,with the greatest enthusiasm,and,after dressing me in my Community Servant’s uniform,as if I was a small child,still clumsy at putting on his own clothes,C.S.O.’s Karen and Linda escorted me out of the building,and out of the sight of the Liaison Officer,where I could no longer offend her,by darkening her day,and,with each of them holding onto one of my arms,(this was not really necessary,but they so enjoyed this strange,new,wonderful novelty,so enjoyed the sweet thrill,of the power and authority of their new found positions,and they got a real kick,from watching the reactions of the members of the public),it was in this fashion,that C.S.O.’s Karen and Linda,marched me,Community Servant david 007,(as my white uniform T shirt announced,front and back,to the world),across Town,to  where I had been assigned to serve,until I found a job of gainful employment,to my new workplace,to the ‘Sock Room’.And they marched me,securely,into my new life.

My COMMUNITY SERVICE continues,in Part 2 to be posted soon ...