After reading the devastating contents of his letter from the Community Services Liaison Officer, Harriet Harmman, to the effect that she was confiscating his pride and joy, his ocean going boat, the ‘FREEDOM’, my new work partner, michael R2D2, for whom today was only his second day at work, as a Community Servant, was literally struck speechless, in confounded disbelief, at the perpetration of such a heinous and unthinkable outrage, and at such soul crushing disappointment, not only, at having his beloved boat so heartlessly snatched away from him, but also, and far more to the point, at losing our one means of escape, and at the loss of our only hopes of liberation, and at the cruel quashing of our cherished dreams, of leaving the Britain of the Authoritarian Female Party, led by Prime Minister Caroline Flint, far behind us, and of our living new, simple, and carefree lives in warmer climes, and upon the ocean waves, aboard the ‘FREEDOM’..

And, last night, when we were ‘in our cups’, as we enjoyed glass after glass of mike’s delicious claret, which was the first wine that I had tasted in nearly 5 years, I, the most pessimistic of sceptics, had actually dared to hope. I had actually come to believe, that liberation, and a wonderful new life, was actually within our grasp, and that we would shed the metaphorical chains that so cruelly subjugated us, and that shackled us to our inescapable and humiliating roles, of degraded and downtrodden Community Servants.

And, as mike and I walked to work that morning, our shattering and soul crushing desolation was such, that we must have presented a perfect picture of grief stricken despair, to any such pedestrians who may have happened to observe us, as we walked sombrely along the pavement, under our melancholic cloud.

But, before we arrived at work, mike’s glum demeanour of disappointment and defeat, gradually changed, into a rather belligerent attitude, that alarmed me greatly, and that caused me to worry and fret, for, I recognized his symptoms, having gone through those emotions myself, when I had been forcibly enlisted as a Community Servant, 5 years ago, when Caroline Flint and the AFP first came to power.

Though mike maintained a tense silence, his sense of growing outrage was evident, and, it seemed to radiate out from him, in almost palpable waves.

Sensing imminent disaster, when our Supervisors, CSO’s Gloria and Edna, brought us before the Community Services Liaison Officer, Harriet Harmman, for our Further Sentencing, I spoke to my work partner in soothing and consoling, though urgent tones. “I know it’s hard, mike, but, believe me, you’ve got to be careful, mike, you’ve got to be VERY careful, about what you say, when we are brought before the Community Services Liaison Officer. She just won’t tolerate, any-------“  Interjecting, his voice thick and choked, with the heart rending emotions of his grief and anger, mike said, as if I had forgotten, “she’s taken my boat, david! She’s taken my boat! SHE’S TAKEN MY ‘FREEDOM’!”

Try as I might, I could not find the words that could calm ‘Cap’n’ mike down. I could not pour oil on his troubled and turbulent waters, and, all that I could do, was to brace myself, and batten down my hatches, in preparation for the stormy seas that I knew were about to break over our heads.

But, it was going to be worse, much worse, than I had feared.

When mike and I arrived at the Community Services Liaison Office, where we were to report to our Supervisors, CSO’s Gloria and Edna, CSO Gloria said to us, in approval, “ah! david 007 and michael R2D2, I am pleased to see you reporting early for duty! Let us hope, that this is the start of a happy habit, for you both!”

CSO Edna, though, in her stern and strident voice, said, with her unnecessarily high level of harsh decibels, “Community Servant david 007! Community Servant michael R2D2! You will now present yourselves to Madam Liaison Officer, to receive your Further Sentencing!”

Now, I was to receive my biggest shock of the last 5 years.

More shocking, even, than when, 5 years ago, CSO’s Karen and Linda had pulled up outside my house in their AFP van, and then rattled their canes against my front door.

For, after I had stepped up to the Reception Desk, and respectfully addressed the Community Services Liaison Officer, with a polite “good morning, Madam”, mike then also stepped up to the Reception Desk, and, evidently, respect and politeness were the last things in his mind, as, to my shocked amazement and horrified disbelief, mike angrily waved the letter that he had received from her that morning, under the Community Services Liaison Officer’s nose, and, he yelled into her haughty and imperious and disbelieving face, “YOU BITCH!!”

As I watched all of the colour drain from the Community Services Liaison Officer’s already pale and pasty features, which vividly registered her incredulous astonishment, I saw the moment, when her profound sense of outrage took possession of her, which was a terrible and terrifying thing to see, and, I found myself trembling, uncontrollably, in the grip of an almost paralyzing fear, at the spine chilling spectacle of the Community Services Liaison Officer’s wrath, and in an almost bowel loosening dread, at the appalling calamity that must surely now befall us, as a direct result of mike’s reckless self indulgence, in venting his affronted feelings against the high authority of the person who was responsible, for visiting such soul crushing wretchedness upon him.

It was CSO Edna, who was first to recover, and to break the appalling, almost preternatural silence that had fallen, in the Community Services Liaison Office, as a result of mike’s shocking, 2 word outburst.

“Community Servant michael R2D2!!!! How DARE you show such disrespect to your Superiors? I give you my SOLEMN PROMISE, here and now, that I shall make the next 6 months, a LIVING HELL, for BOTH of you!”, raged CSO Edna, going almost purple in the face.

Addressing her own Superior , CSO Edna urged, “Madam, I can only recommend the harshest possible sanctions, that you are empowered to impose! In my opinion, Madam, such outrageous conduct as this, can not be punished severely enough! I recommend the Public Caning Post in the High Street, for them, and the Footrest Stocks, on Prostitutes Parade! Community Servants, Madam, must be made to know their place, and, --------“ Interrupting CSO Edna in full vitriolic flow, her sister and AFP colleague, CSO Gloria, intervened, “Madam, despite Community Servant michael R2D2’s appallingly grave insult upon your very good and most gracious person, I am afraid that I cannot whole heartedly agree with CSO Edna’s recommendations, with regard to the appropriate methods, and severity of Chastisement.

Madam, although Community Servant michael R2D2’s, and, by default, Community Servant david 007’s appalling behaviour, also casts a shadow over my own ability to control and to command the respect and obedience of my charges, still, Madam, I would plead for a measure of leniency in their behalf.

It is scant defence, I know, Madam, but, today is only Community Servant michael R2D2’s second day as a Community Servant, and, Madam, I am aware that he is experiencing above average difficulty, in accepting and adjusting to his new role in our Society, and, of particular note and concern, is his apparent aversion and inability, in accepting any forms of female discipline and authority.

This is due, I feel, to his strongly felt sentiments of anger, outrage, resentment, and his keenly felt sense of injustice, with regard to his so suddenly being unretired, by the AFP, and with his mandatory enlistment without notification, as a Community Servant, and with the added attendant loss of his privileges, that his newly acquired status as a Community Servant of course necessarily entails.

With regard to Community Servant david 007, Madam, I would respectfully remind you, that it is still less than 1 month since he was discharged from hospital, after being treated for his acute symptoms of Premature Burnout Syndrome, and, according to the doctor’s report, david 007 is still in a rather fragile state, both mentally and physically, Madam.

Madam, with all due respect, all that I am suggesting, is that you do not act hastily, while you are, albeit, so righteously angry, but to take your time in considering the matter, and to inform us of your decision as to david 007 and michael R2D2’s Chastisement Sentence, by 5 pm today, Madam”.

After listening carefully, to what CSO Gloria had to say, the Community Services Liaison Officer, Harriet Harmman, with a little colour at last returning to her stern and stony features, replied, “CSO Gloria, since I have learned to attach such high value upon your experience, judgement, and sagacity, I shall take your advice, and I shall abide by your wise counsel. I shall dwell upon the positions of Community Servants david 007 and michael R2D2, and I shall apprise you and CSO Edna of my decision as to their Chastisement Sentence, at 5 pm today.

Now, CSO’s Gloria and Edna! Get those 2 Community Servants, OUT OF MY SIGHT!!!!”

Then, outside the Community Services Liaison Office, where the AFP van was parked, mike, seemingly coming over somewhat contrite, now, after seeing CSO Gloria’s unexpected and surprising intervention on his behalf, began, diffidently and apologetically, “Miss Gloria, thank you. Thank you for your kindness, and for your understanding, in speaking up for me. Miss Gloria, I really don’t know what to say. I--------“ interjecting, a very angry CSO Edna stood in front of mike, and, without warning or ceremony, she administered 4, very hard and resounding, and sharply stinging slaps, 2 to each of mike’s cheeks, as she furiously shouted into his shocked face. “YOU!” (slap!) “WILL!” (slap!) “SAY!” (slap!) “NOTHING!” (slap!)

When CSO Edna had completed mike’s on the spot, arbitrary Chastisement, which a small group of girls on their way to school had stopped to watch, tittering, with interest and amusement, CSO Gloria then said, to her sister and AFP colleague, “Edna, dear. Never you fear, I have not gone soft, on the Community Servants, and I shall certainly see that they get the full measure of the Chastisement that is due to them.

And, I want to take a moment now, to speak to them, and to make their positions perfectly plain to them, once and for all”.

Turning to mike, CSO Gloria told him, sternly, “michael R2D2. There can be no excuse, no excuse, WHAT SO EVER, for your quite unpardonable conduct, just now, towards the Community Services Liaison Officer.

Heaven knows, I am tolerant, by nature, but you are quickly using up all of my reserves of patience, with your intolerable behaviour, and I will, from now on, come down on you like a ton of bricks, upon your each and every future transgressions, until I see some tangible signs from you, that you are beginning to learn your place. And, it would be far better for you, if that were to be sooner, rather than later.

Now, as for you, Community Servant david 007. I do not like being deceived, and especially not, by a Community Servant. It is akin, to actually lying to me.

Now, david 007, though I perfectly understand that you acted from the most noble of motives, in taking the blame for Polly Painter’s cat spilling the can of silver polish, and resulting in the shoes and boots of the ladies of the Painter Household being ruined, still, I feel that, albeit indirectly, you have lied to me, and, I am telling you now, I am telling BOTH of you, that I demand your absolute honesty, at ALL TIMES, and you will find that I have ZERO tolerance, for anything less. Where Community Servants are concerned, honesty really is, the BEST POLICY.

Also, I warn both of you, do not make the mistake, of thinking that the Community Services Liaison Officer will be letting you off lightly, just because I spoke up for you, in your defence! Oh, no! Harriet Harmman absolutely THRIVES, upon making the lives of Community Servants a misery, and she delights, in handing out Chastisement Sentences to Community Servants, like Mary Poppins delights, in handing out sweets to children!

Now, have I made myself perfectly plain, to BOTH of you?” “Yes, Miss Gloria”, mike and I mumbled together, unhappily, in reply.

Then, consulting her clipboard, CSO Gloria continued, in her crisp and businesslike fashion, “very well, then. Now, today, you have got 1 House Cleaning Assignment, rather than 2. But, that is because of the size of the job, so don’t go thinking that you are being given an easy day today. Because you are not!

Today, your House Cleaning Assignment will be at Harlett House, where you will spend the day cleaning the 12 rooms of the female College students who reside there.

Right then! Come on! Into the van with you both! Move smartly!”, ordered CSO Gloria, and CSO Edna held open the rear doors of the van for mike and myself, for us to clamber inside, and, as we passed her, she snapped, maliciously, “straighten your faces! Or the female College students might get the idea into their heads, that you DON’T WANT to clean their rooms for them! Hahahaha!”

Upon our arrival at Harlett House, CSO Gloria rang the doorbell a number of times, and, she was just on the point of giving up, when the front door was finally opened by a rather surly looking young lady, who was dressed in her night clothes and a pair of fluffy slippers, and whose hair was unkempt, as if she had just got out of bed, and her eyes had dark circles under them, as though from lack of sleep.

Upon seeing the 4 of us on her doorstep, and at such an ungodly hour as 8-30 am, she inquired of us, somewhat sullenly, “WHAT?”

After CSO Gloria had explained to her the nature of our visit, the sleep deprived and short tempered young lady replied, in rather more polite and welcoming tones, “oh, yes! We had completely forgot, that the Community Servants were coming to clean our rooms for us today!

I’m Amy, by the way, and I’m very sorry, if I seemed a bit rude just now, CSO’s Gloria and Edna, but, we had a HELL of a party, last night, and we didn’t go to bed until well after 4 am.

Well, I suppose you had better come in, then. All of the other girls are still in bed, I’m afraid, with terrible hangovers. I don’t think that any of us will be going in to our lectures, today. Do you think perhaps that you had better bring the Community Servants back tomorrow, instead, CSO Gloria? I’ve got the most hideous hangover, myself, and all that I want to do, is to go back to bed and try to sleep it off. I’ve never had a hangover LIKE it, CSO Gloria!”

Now, it was CSO Edna who spoke up, cheerily. “Nonsense, Miss Amy! Not at all! In fact, it is just as well, by the sound of things, that we have Community Servant david 007 with us this morning. During his 5 years of service in the Town’s ‘Sock Room’, david 007 has had plenty of practise at foot massage, and his Supervisors there taught him how to perform some of the basic applications of reflexology, and he was taught how to manipulate those certain areas on the soles of the feet, so as to greatly alleviate the miserable symptoms of hangovers.

If I might suggest, Miss Amy, that Community Servant michael R2D2 goes upstairs, and cleans and tidies your room for you, while david 007 treats you here, in the Living Room. Then, as and when the other girls get up, david 007 can treat them, too, while michael R2D2 cleans and tidies their rooms for them. Then, when david 007 has treated all 12 of you, he can then go and help his work partner with the rest of the House Cleaning. How does that sound to you, Miss Amy?” “That sounds great, CSO Edna! I’m prepared to give ANYTHING a try! Let’s do it!”, replied Amy, with enthusiasm, at the sudden and highly agreeable prospect of having something done about her wretched hangover.

“Community Servant david 007. You heard Miss Amy! You will attend Miss Amy, and you will begin your foot service duties, at once!”, ordered CSO Edna, dictatorially.

CSO Gloria then said approvingly to her sister and AFP colleague, “this is a most suitable and satisfactory arrangement, Edna, dear, and it will take us nicely up to Lunch Time”.

CSO Edna agreed. “That’s right, Gloria, I have already worked it out. Community Servant david 007 will perform 3, 20 minute foot service sessions per hour. As he has 12 female students to serve, it will take david 007 a total of 4 hours to complete his foot service duties, and, as you say, Gloria, my dear, that will take us nicely up to Lunch Time.

Meanwhile, Community Servant michael  R2D2 can make himself useful, for a change, and he can clean and tidy the girl’s rooms, as and when they vacate them to come down to the Living Room, to have david 007 attend them, and have him massage their feet, for them”.

Nodding her agreement, CSO Gloria replied, “while you Superintend david 007’s foot service duties, Edna, dear, I shall put michael R2D2 to work upstairs, as you say, and have him clean and tidy the girl’s rooms for them”.

Then, turning to mike, CSO Gloria formally instructed him, “Community Servant michael R2D2. You will now proceed upstairs, and you will properly and thoroughly clean and tidy Miss Amy’s room, for her. Now, michael R2D2, GET MOVING!”, ordered CSO Gloria, peremptorily, and making it plain in her tone, that she would put up with none of mike’s ‘nonsense’, today. “Yes, Miss Gloria”, replied mike, obediently, but with sullen undertones, that were plain to hear, and, I found myself worrying afresh, about mike’s ‘raging against the machine’, which could only result in trouble and Chastisement. For both of us.

Although I had performed what my previous Supervisors, CSO’s Karen and Linda, who had taught me the procedure, called the ‘Standard’ 20 minute foot service session, countless times before, and certainly needed no instruction as to it’s correct application, CSO Edna was there, to Superintend my duties, and she intended to do exactly that.

And so, for the next 4 hours, even though I had a watch of my own, CSO Edna acted as timekeeper, to keep me exactly to schedule, and she barked out her wholly unnecessary, repetitive, step by step instructions, at each and every stage of the 4 point, ‘Standard’ 20 minute foot service routine, starting with Amy, who CSO Edna politely instructed to lie on one of the Living Room couches, of which there were 3, in the large communal Living Room, of Harlett House.

“Please lie down on the couch, Miss Amy, on your back, and rest your legs on the arm of the couch, so that your feet protrude over the edge”.

When Amy had settled herself on the couch, according to CSO Edna’s instructions, CSO Edna then turned to me, and she addressed me, sharply, “Community Servant david 007. You will now assume your foot service position, and you will kneel at Miss Amy’s feet! You will perform the ‘Standard’ 20 minute foot service routine for Miss Amy, and you will commence your duties NOW, david 007!” “Yes, Miss Edna”, I replied, compliantly, as I obeyed CSO Edna’s order, and I assumed my foot service position at the end of the couch, where I knelt at Amy’s feet, and removed her fluffy slippers.

Then, when CSO Edna was quite satisfied as to both my position and my humble demeanour, with great relish, it seemed to me, she barked out an order at me, which was the first of many such orders, that would span the next 4 hours, and that she would never tire of repeating, even though her repetition was of the most monotonous regularity. “LEFT FOOT!!”, instructed CSO Edna, imperiously.

After exactly 5 minutes had elapsed since I had begun to massage Amy’s left foot for her, CSO Edna snapped at me, by way of instruction, “RIGHT FOOT!!”

For the next 5 minutes, I carefully pressed my thumbs quite firmly, but not too firmly, into the bare sole of Amy’s right foot, and, concentrating on the specific areas of the sole that I had been taught to manipulate, that would produce the most efficacious of results, I carefully pressed my thumbs into Amy’s foot flesh, in the circular movements that I had been taught by my original Supervisors, CSO’s Karen and Linda, when serving under them in the Town’s ‘Sock Room’.

When this second 5 minute period was up, CSO Edna politely instructed Amy, “please lie on your front now, Miss Amy, for the next 10 minutes”. To me, CSO Edna snapped, “LEFT FOOT!!”

Whereas, for the first 10 minutes of the ‘Standard’ 20 minute foot service routine, I had been working on Amy’s feet, upwards, from her heels to her toes, now, for the second 10 minutes, I was working upwards, from her toes to her heels.

As I worked on Amy’s left foot, in the 3^rd of the 4, 5 minute ‘mini’ sessions, I was gratified to hear her moans of pleasure, and her sighs of bliss, which were the classic signs, that my careful manipulations upon the soles of her feet were producing the desired results.

“RIGHT FOOT!!”, ordered CSO Edna, and, obeying her command, I repeated the procedure, for the final 5 minutes, and I dutifully completed the ‘Standard’ 20 minute foot service routine, for Amy, who was the first of the 12 female students, for whom CSO Edna would Superintend my foot service duties, that morning.

When the 20 minutes were up, Amy exclaimed, in amazed delight, “WOW! I can’t BELIEVE it! I think the foot massage thing has ACTUALLY WORKED!! My headache has totally GONE! I think I am feeling well enough now, to ACTUALLY attend my lectures! Thank you, CSO Edna! THANK YOU!”, gushed Amy, her heartfelt gratitude, swelling and spilling over towards CSO Edna, for so kindly supplying the means of relief, from her wretched and debilitating hangover.

“Not at all, Miss Amy! Not at all! It is MY PLEASURE!! I assure you!”, replied CSO Edna, beneficently, as she smilingly waved away , Amy’s wholly unnecessary expressions of gratitude.

Just then, our attention was drawn to another of the female students of Harlett House, who had just come downstairs and entered the Living Room, and who was attired just as Amy was, in her night clothes and slippers, and who also displayed the classic signs of having had ‘one too many’ at the party last night, of an unhealthy looking pallor to her otherwise very pretty face, and dark circles under her eyes, like smudged cinders, suggesting that she could have managed ‘an extra half hour’ in bed.

Upon seeing me kneeling at Amy’s feet, the decidedly dishevelled and unhappy looking young lady inquired, “what’s going on, Amy?”

Amy replied, with the new found energy of her replenished vigour, “oh, Van!! You’ll never BELIEVE it! This Community Servant, david 007, has actually CURED my hangover, for me! Just by massaging my FEET! It’s TRUE!

Van, this lady is CSO Edna, and she says that this particular kind of foot massage, is a form of reflexology, that can greatly alleviate the miserable symptoms of hangovers, and that, Community Servant david 007, here, has been trained to perform it! I am TELLING you, Vanessa, it really WORKS! I can’t WAIT to tell all the girls in College! They will never believe it!”

CSO Edna, at seeing this new arrival, and, at seeing the rather dubious look upon her pasty and sickly looking features, with regard to Amy’s amazing and highly unlikely claims, said, “good morning, Miss Vanessa. Miss Amy is quite right. Community Servant david 007, here, has been trained to perform some of the more basic applications of the arts of reflexology, for the benefit of his female betters, and, I can assure you, Miss Vanessa, that, in Community Servant david 007, you have at your disposal, a highly competent and very obedient foot servant”.

Vacating the couch, Amy urged her friend and fellow student, to waste no time in availing herself of this apparent miracle cure for hangovers. “Come on, Van! What are you waiting for? Just lie down on the couch! CSO Edna will order Community Servant david 007 to massage your feet, for you, and you’ll be feeling better in NO TIME!! Community Servant david 007 will cure your hangover for you, Vanessa! CSO Edna is going to make him kneel there, at the end of the couch, until he has performed his reflexology for all 12 of us, Van! Anyway, I’m going to College. I’ll see you and the other girls later!”, called Amy, as she quickly headed upstairs to get washed and dressed, and ready for College.

As the morning slowly and inexorably wore on, I knelt at the feet of a seemingly never ending succession of hung over, and miserable looking female students.

And, CSO Edna frequently checked her watch, and she kept me rigidly to my schedule, as she studiously Superintended me, with her regular and monotonous commands, of “LEFT FOOT!!”, and “RIGHT FOOT!!”, at exactly 5 minute intervals, until finally, and at long last, I had finished the performance of my ‘Standard’ 20 minute reflexology foot service routine, at the feet of the 12^th and final female College student, of Harlett House.

And, every single one of the female College students, at the completion of my ‘Standard’ 20 minute foot service ministrations, exclaimed, in their delighted amazement, that their headaches were actually gone, and they vouched, and most fervently asserted, that I had indeed cured their agonizing and debilitating hangovers for them, by carefully and tenderly and assiduously massaging their feet, for them, and, they didn’t hold back, in offering their genuine and most profuse thanks, and they expressed the heartfelt sentiments, of their most sincere and profound gratitude, to CSO Edna, for supplying the means of their relief, and for banishing the miserable and wretched symptoms, of their crippling and shattering hangovers.

Then, it was time to break for Lunch, and CSO Gloria and mike duly reappeared in the large communal Living Room.

As a result, of the morning’s unremitting hard labour that CSO Gloria had put him through, in properly and thoroughly cleaning and tidying each of the female student’s rooms, as and when they vacated them, mike looked close to exhaustion. He was breathing raggedly, and his brow was glistening with the sweat of his constant and fatiguing toil, and, at seeing the unaltered, chaotic state of the debris strewn Living Room, at seeing the beer cans, the empty wine and spirit bottles, the snacks wrappers, the take away food cartons and wrappings, with their half finished and unsightly congealed remains, and, at seeing the resultant and inevitable mess, of the crisps and nuts and various other ‘nibbles’ and beverage spillages, that was the classic signature of all such parties, this was all too much for mike, and, ignoring CSO’s Gloria and Edna, and homing in on the easiest target upon which to vent his simmering anger, at these latest forced labour humiliations, that CSO Gloria, like a professional slave driver, was mercilessly putting him through, my harassed and harangued work partner demanded of me in plaintive tones, resentfully and peevishly, “what have YOU been doing all morning, david? I have been working my ASS OFF upstairs! ALL MORNING!! Just look at the STATE of this Living Room! It hasn’t been TOUCHED! It’s like a BOMB SITE in here! It’s a COMPLETE SHAMBLES!!”

In her outraged and furious response, to mike’s outlandish and peevish outburst, CSO Edna strode purposefully and menacingly over to confront mike, and, she yelled angrily and vehemently into his pink and perspiring, sweat soaked face, “Community Servant michael R2D2! HOW DARE YOU? How DARE YOU, speak and conduct yourself, in such an INSOLENT fashion?

Will you NEVER learn, you SILLY, STUPID man? When will you REALIZE, when will it DAWN, upon your TINY BRAIN, that your former life, as you knew it, with all of your former privileges, IS OVER, and that your status is now, and will be for evermore, that of a Community Servant?

OH! It will be my very great PLEASURE, to BREAK you, and I ASSURE you, I WILL BREAK YOU, Community Servant michael R2D2!

Before I am through with you, you will tremble in my presence, and you will bow in reverence, at the very SIGHT of me!

Now! Since you are so evidently concerned, about the untidy and messy state of the Living Room, you and david 007 can go without your Lunch Break, and you can both clean and tidy the Living Room, while CSO Gloria and I watch over you, as we have our own Lunches.

Then, since david 007 has idled the whole morning away, playing with female students feet, you had both better REALLY get cracking with the rest of the Housework, to make up for lost time, hadn’t you?”

Thinking that CSO Edna’s question was merely rhetorical in nature, mike and I both thought it prudent and safer to remain silent. But, CSO Edna, it seemed, had deliberately and maliciously steered us into a lose – lose situation, and, obviously hoping for an imprudent reaction, from either of us, she yelled into our faces, “I SAID, HADN’T YOU?”

“YES, MISS EDNA!!!”, replied mike and I, in one voice, and we began to scamper about the Living Room, picking up all of the various items of party detritus, and putting them into black plastic bin liners, as CSO’s Gloria and Edna sat themselves down comfortably on one of the couches and ate their lunches, and watched over us like hawks, and they imperiously barked their orders at us, as we worked through our own Lunch Break. Just as we had, the day before.

But, after about 5 minutes, CSO Edna, as though a marvellous brainwave had suddenly occurred to her, said, to her older sister and AFP colleague, “Gloria, dear, why don’t we let michael R2D2 clean and tidy the Living Room on his own, and have david 007 kneel before US, and massage OUR feet for us, too? After all, Gloria, dear, he has had plenty of practice at honing his reflexology skills, upon 12 pairs of female student’s feet, all morning! Also, it will set a good example to his work partner, who seems to be having a problem or two, with bowing and submitting to his female betters and superiors, and in adapting himself to his new status in life”

In reply, CSO Gloria concurred with her sister’s splendid suggestion. “Edna, dear, that is a wonderful idea! I could really USE david 007, now! My poor FEET, are absolutely KILLING me, from being on my feet all morning long, while Superintending michael R2D2, as he was doing his very best, the dozy man, to make an absolute pig’s ear, of the most simple of tasks and chores, as he cleaned and tidied those female student’s rooms! Don’t worry though, Edna, dear. Between the two of us, we will SOON wake HIS ideas up, for him! Oh yes! We will SOON whip HIM into shape! We will make a model Community Servant out of him YET! Just like his work partner, david 007”

Then, CSO Edna ordered, peremptorily, “david 007! You heard CSO Gloria! You will kneel before us, and you will massage our feet, for us! Start with CSO Gloria! After all, she is the one, who has had to cope with your work partner’s inadequacies, all morning, while I myself have been sitting down comfortably, while Superintending you”. “Yes, Miss Edna”, I replied, compliantly, as I left mike, who had the sense to bottle up his feelings, in the face of these latest provocations, and remain silent, to clean and tidy the large communal Living Room on his own, and, as ordered by CSO Edna, I first knelt at the feet of CSO Gloria.

“I am at your service, Miss Gloria, and I am honoured to perform my humble duties, at your feet”, I told CSO Gloria, in what had become one of my standard statements of respectful declaration, when finding myself at the command of any such females, who might express to me their wish, even at a single moment’s notice, that I must place myself at their disposal, and to serve them, obediently and respectfully, and humbly, at their feet.

I had learned, over the last 5 years as a Community Servant, that it was only by humbling myself, showing my respect, and submitting my immediate and full cooperation towards my female betters and superiors, that I could hope for any lenience or small mercies, that they might deign to condescend towards me.

However, I was painfully aware, that my respectful and humble conduct towards my female betters and superiors would count for little, for as long as my new work partner, mike, continued to antagonise them, by defying their authority, and by failing to bow to their unquestioned mastery, and by refusing to accept them, as the all powerful female rulers of his life.

After I had removed one of CSO Gloria’s yellow cotton ankle socked feet, from one of her AFP issue black, thick rubber soled, backless shoes, that were like clogs, and began to massage her sole through the yellow cotton fabric of her ankle sock, CSO Gloria, knowing that I was competent enough to perform my humble foot service duties without the necessity for Supervision, engaged her sister and AFP colleague in light conversation, as they enjoyed their lunches.

But, such was their apparent dissatisfaction with mike’s efforts, at cleaning and tidying the Living Room, that, on numerous occasions, they felt obliged to interrupt their conversation and the consumption of their lunch, to bark an impatient or exasperated order at mike, who I felt had drawn the short straw once again.

For, I no longer minded, in fact, I had stopped minding long ago, kneeling at the feet of my female superiors, and performing my humble foot service duties, for them, which was, after all, a lot better and a lot easier, than many of the alternative occupations that I would otherwise be forced to endure.

After serving as a Community Servant for 5 years, my mindset was such, through my years of ‘conditioning’, that the former strengths of my emotions had become highly diluted.

My initial emotions, of anger and outrage, of shame and humiliation, of bitter resentment, and my acute and deep seated sense, of being degraded and abused, by the females who had seen fit to take it upon themselves to rule my life, gradually faded over time, as I grew more and more accustomed to such treatment, and as I learned to accept the new and unchangeable realities of my lot, and to reconcile myself to my fate, as a Community Servant, and as a serving chattel, of the Authoritarian Female Party.

I had discovered, within weeks, that resistance to the powers of the AFP was not only painful, but utterly futile.

Unfortunately for me, as his work partner, mike was only just setting out on his own journey of discovery, and it was already apparent, that mike was set on learning his lessons the hard way, for, far from listening to my counsel, that it was far better, in the long run, to submit to the female ‘powers that be’, he was determined, not to become just another member of the pathetic vanquished, and of the defeated and downtrodden.

Of course, and to be fair, it was different for mike, and harder for him to take. After all, he had already been enjoying the fruits of his early retirement for quite some time, and he had complacently come to believe himself safe, from the scabby clutches of the AFP.

So, quite understandably, it was all the harder for mike to accept, his being unretired, by the AFP, and from what was, after all, his Personal, rather than a State Pension, and then being subjected, to a mandatory enlistment order as a Community Servant, and having his boat, car, computer and mobile phone, all confiscated.

No wonder, then, that he showed a reluctance to listen to me, telling him that he would “soon get used to it”!

This was only mike’s second day, of earning his Unemployment Benefit Payments by working as a Community Servant, and, to say that he was not taking to it too well, would be a vast understatement, and it was glaringly evident, that he was simmering with a rage and a resentment that I feared was likely to bubble over and spill, at the slightest of provocations.

And, as I listened to CSO Gloria and Edna’s Lunch Break conversation, it was glaringly and worryingly apparent, that provocation, where CSO Edna was concerned, was her ‘stock in trade’, and it was a commodity that she had in plentiful supply, and she was liberal in it’s application.

As I knelt at CSO Gloria’s yellow cotton ankle socked feet, and dutifully massaged them for her, and as mike scampered about the Living Room, under the ever watchful and highly critical eyes of our Supervisors, CSO Edna was animatedly saying, “Gloria, dear, I DO wish that you hadn’t spoken up for the Community Servants this morning! What came over you? I was SURE that Harriet was going to come down on them like an avalanche! And, quite rightly, too, after michael R2D2’s INCREDIBLE display of insolence! I have never heard, or seen anything LIKE IT! It quite beggared belief! In fact, Gloria, I had never felt so ANGRY, in the whole of my 5 years of service as a Community Service Officer, as I was this morning, when michael R2D2 shamed us! YES, SHAMED US, Gloria, YOU AND I, with his BARE FACED INSOLENCE, towards Harriet!

I mean, Gloria, JUST THINK, of how his appalling behaviour and his gross misconduct, reflects upon US!

OH! michael R2D2 shall know the true meaning of DISCIPLINE, before I have finished with HIM! He shall experience my full repertoire, of Chastisement methods and techniques, during the coming 6 months of his attachment to us!

Gloria, dear, I can’t BEAR the thought, of the Community Servants being let off lightly! I do hope that Harriet is not over lenient, in her Chastisement Sentence later today, just because david 007 has been out of hospital for less than a month, after being treated for Premature Burnout Syndrome. PAH! What NONSENSE! It is not Premature Burnout Syndrome, that the Community Servants suffer from, but sheer LAZINESS! And, the best cure for what ails THEM, is a good dose of THE CANE!! THAT, is the best medicine, Gloria, for THEM!

And, anyway, if Harriet DOES let them off lightly, they will still have ME to deal with!”

Then, CSO Gloria, addressing me, said “thank you, david 007. Now, kneel before CSO Edna, and see if you can calm her down a bit. Be sure to give her your very best foot service performance, david 007, after all, it’s in your best interest!” “Yes, Miss Gloria. I will do my best for Miss Edna”, I assured her, as I took up my position, at CSO Edna’s already proffered, yellow cotton ankle socked feet.

As I took hold of one of CSO Edna’s feet in my hands, and began to perform the soothing and relaxing ministrations that I had been taught, CSO Gloria blessed me with her smile of approval, as CSO Edna DID, actually calm down a bit, and I believed, that CSO Gloria was every bit as grateful as mike and I were, that CSO Edna had ceased her ranting, and that her wagging, vindictive and venomous tongue became still in her mouth, and that, apart from her sighs of blissful pleasure, she became silent, even if it WAS, for only a few brief and short lived minutes!

Then, when Lunch Break was over, CSO Edna, who rarely had a kind or approving word or gesture towards a Community Servant, snapped at me, “right then, Community Servant david 007! You have had a very cushy day of it, so far. Time for you to do some REAL WORK, for a change!

Go out to the van, and get the carpet cleaner. You can shampoo the Living Room carpet, while CSO Gloria takes michael R2D2 back upstairs, to clean the bathrooms, and to vacuum all of the carpeting. Well? What are you waiting for? I gave you an ORDER, david 007! Now, GET MOVING!!” “Yes, Miss Edna!”, I replied, and hurried outside to the AFP van, as ordered.

When I returned with the carpet cleaner, I saw that one of the female students of Harlett House, Vanessa, had returned to the Living Room, and, upon seeing what I was about to do, she exclaimed, “oh! I won’t be in the way, will I, CSO Edna, if I sit on the couch with my feet up, while I read my copy of ‘AFP Monthly’?”

CSO Edna replied politely, and curiously, “not at all, Miss Vanessa! Not at all! But, what is the matter? Are you not well? Has Community Servant david 007 failed, in his foot service duties towards you, Miss Vanessa? Do you require him to attend you, once again?”, asked CSO Edna, as she turned her wrathful look upon me.

“Oh, no, CSO Edna! I assure you, I am perfectly well, now! It’s just that, unlike the rest of the girls, I have no lectures to attend today.

Actually, CSO Edna, before david 007 begins to shampoo our Living Room carpet, I would like to ask him some questions, with regards to his foot service skills. I am a Medical Student, you see, CSO Edna. I am studying Holistic Medicine and Natural Therapies, and I am exceedingly intrigued, as to how this branch of reflexology, as practised by david 007, seems to work so wonderfully well. I mean, how DOES it work, exactly, CSO Edna?”

Turning to me, CSO Edna, with a glint of malicious glee in her eyes, at the prospect of such splendid sport, of making me squirm, demanded of me, “well, Community Servant david 007? You heard Miss Vanessa’s question! How does it work? You will answer her question, and you will answer it to her full satisfaction!”

CSO Edna knew perfectly well, that she had put me on the spot, if not in an impossible position, and, very flustered, now, at being ordered by her to explain the complicated mechanics and the intricate workings, of something that I knew next to nothing about, I replied, nervously and fretfully, “I am very sorry, Miss Vanessa, but, I am afraid that I know very little about it. It was my previous and original Supervisors, CSO’s Karen and Linda, who taught me everything I know, during the 5 years that I was privileged to serve under them, in the ‘Sock Room’.

CSO’s Karen and Linda, told me that it is all to do with manipulating the soles of the feet, in certain, specific ways, and upon certain, specific areas----“ “pressure points”, said Vanessa, helpfully, and I went on, “that somehow causes certain chemicals, called dolphins-----“ “endorphins”, interrupted Vanessa again, to correct me, and I continued, “to be released and activated in the brain, that act as quickly working pain killers.

CSO’s Karen and Linda, who taught me those skills, to promote my betterment as a Community Servant, they said, often had me practise my skills on themselves, and also upon many of the girls and ladies who visited the ‘Sock Room’, who complained of headaches and hangovers, or who simply wanted a nice, relaxing foot massage, and, I would serve at their feet, as they relaxed on the recliners that were provided there for their comfort, Miss Vanessa”.

To my great relief, and to CSO Edna’s equally great disappointment, Vanessa seemed reasonably satisfied, with my rather sketchy, ‘layman’s  explanation, as she replied, “thank you, david 007. Your explanation DOES shed a little light on the subject. My compliments, to your former Supervisors, CSO’s Karen and Linda. They have trained you well, david 007. And, I can now vouch for that, myself, as can all of my fellow students, here at Harlett House.”

As a counterpoint to Vanessa’s kind compliments, CSO Edna agreed with her, but, in her mean and malicious fashion, as she sniped, vindictively, “yes, Miss Vanessa. It would seem that david 007’s former Supervisors, CSO’s Karen and Linda, have somehow succeeded, in making a silk purse, from a sows ear!”

When, at 5 pm, our House Cleaning Assignment for the day was finally over, Vanessa, who was showing us out of Harlett House said, “thank you, CSO’s Gloria and Edna! You have been WONDERFUL!”

Then, outside at the parked AFP van, CSO Gloria’s mobile phone began to chirrup away, with it’s exceedingly annoying ring tone, and, after looking at her phone’s display, she announced to us all, in portentous tones, “it’s Harriet!”

After pressing her ‘answer’ button, CSO Gloria listened intently and raptly, to the voice on the other end of the line, and, she looked from mike to me, and back again, repeatedly, as she listened carefully, absorbing everything that the Community Services Liaison Officer was saying to her. Finally, CSO Gloria replied, “yes, Harriet. I understand, and I will inform the Community Servants as to the details of your Chastisement Sentence Judgement, immediately. Goodbye, Harriet”, said CSO Gloria, and she pressed the ‘end’ button on her phone.

CSO Edna, it seemed to me, was almost beside herself, with pent up curiosity and malicious excitement, and with an irrepressible eagerness to learn of Harriet Harmman’s Judgement, upon mike and myself, and, quite unable to control her impatience, she badgered and harried her sister and AFP colleague, “WELL, Gloria? Don’t keep me in the dark! Spit it out! Tell me, what did Harriet have to say, about david 007 and michael R2D2? What did she say, about their Chastisement Sentence? OH! I DO hope that Harriet has not foolishly taken your appeal to her into account, Gloria, and as a result, shown undue leniency towards the Community Servants!”

In reply, CSO Gloria said, and, with not entirely mock exasperation, to her AFP colleague and younger sister, “REALLY, Edna, dear! I am sure that I am quite at a loss, to imagine ANY such Chastisement Sentence that Harriet could impose upon the Community Servants, that YOU would find sufficiently severe, my dear Edna!”

Then, turning to mike and myself, CSO Gloria informed us, in cold and formal tones, of the fate that awaited us, but, unlike CSO Edna, who awaited the verdict with malicious glee, mike and I found ourselves rooted to the spot, in our horrified expectations.

“Community Servants david 007, and michael R2D2. It is the duty of my Office to inform you, of the Chastisement Sentence that has been awarded to you, by the Community Services Liaison Officer.

Firstly, for the remainder of your present 6 months Work Assignment, you will both forfeit your Saturday evenings, between the hours of 7 pm and midnight, and you will serve as Waiting Attendants, at the Community Service Officers Social Club.

Secondly, your Friday evenings, for the same duration and time schedule, will also be forfeit, and, you will report to the ‘GLASS HOUSE’ Public Bar, in the Town’s High St . There, as befits your Gross Misconduct, of the most appalling insolence, you will be secured into the ‘FOOTWELLS OF FOLLY’, where you will be suitably and properly humbled, and where you will have the time, and be able to reflect at length, upon the errors of your ways, as you learn the virtues of obedience, respect, and humility, at the feet of the Town’s female Pub going public.

Finally, if, at the conclusion of the 6 months Chastisement Sentence that has been awarded to you both, EITHER of you, are deemed NOT to have exhibited sufficient repentance, and a positive adjustment in your attitudes towards your female betters and superiors, BOTH of you, will then be awarded ANOTHER Chastisement Sentence, according to the discretion of the Community Services Liaison Officer.

Now, do you both clearly understand the Terms of your Chastisement Sentence, as I have explained them to you?” “Yes, Miss Gloria”, replied mike and I, miserably.

CSO Edna commented, “well, under the circumstances, I suppose that I shall have to be content with that. Though of course I am far from happy, and far from satisfied, with the lenience that Harriet has deemed fit to exercise, towards the Community Servants.

Having said that, though, I shall certainly look forward, every Saturday evening, for the next 6 months, to having them wait on us and our friends and colleagues at the Social Club. Oh yes, I will enjoy THAT! Oh yes, WE will keep THEM out of mischief, on their Saturday evenings, Gloria!

Also, Gloria, hahaha!, that was a nice touch of Harriet’s, wasn’t it, hahaha!, making them also give up their Friday evenings, too, and having them spend them, secured into the ‘FOOTWELLS OF FOLLY’, at the ‘GLASS HOUSE’ Public Bar, hahahaha!

I very much doubt, though, Gloria, that being secured into the ‘FOOTWELLS OF FOLLY’, will have much of an impact upon poor david 007, after all, he has seen it all before, but, hahaha!, michael R2D2, is a VERY different matter! HE most certainly IS, in store for a rude awakening, hahahaha!

Also, Gloria, my dear, I shall jolly well make absolutely CERTAIN, that michael R2D2, AND his pathetic accomplice, david 007, shall never know a single moment of peace, for their next 6 month’s of Saturday evenings, as they serve as Waiting Attendants at the CSO’s Social Club, and, I shall DELIGHT, in their torment, of which I shall be one of the prime causes, you can be SURE, of THAT!!”

Then, CSO Gloria, still with her smile of indulgence on her face, at her younger sister and AFP colleague’s almost girlish enthusiasm, for the role that she so loved, and that was so much more to her, than a mere vocation, turned once more to mike and I, and she said to us, “right then, you two! As it’s not far, we will let you walk home from here. A 30 minutes walk, perhaps. Go on, then! Be off with you both!”

Not needing to be told twice, mike and I slunk away, like 2 whipped pups with our tails between our legs.

But, in glancing over my shoulder, and expecting to see CSO’s Gloria and Edna getting into their AFP van, I was suddenly struck with a deep unease, as I saw that our Supervisors were still standing on the pavement, facing us, and watching us walk away from them, and, I saw that CSO Gloria, in what to me seemed in a quite serious and urgent manner, was saying something to CSO Edna, and, whatever it was, it was bringing a wicked and malicious glint to CSO Edna’s eyes, and a sly and cruel curve to her lips, as she listened to and absorbed, the meaning and the implications of CSO Gloria’s words.

As I had no knowledge and no clue, and no inclination to guess, as to what possible dastardly proceedings may have been set in train by CSO’s Gloria and Edna, that might afflict us at some indeterminate point of the near or distant future, if at all, I made an effort to cast off my sense of deep unease, and to pull myself out of the depths of my despair, at the thought of my latest and imminently upcoming Chastisement Sentence, and, I managed to dig up a small nugget of humour, and so I bemoaned, theatrically, to mike, and, mimicking Oliver Hardy’s famous line, I said, with mock accusation and exasperation, “well, Stanley, this is ANOTHER fine mess, that you’ve gotten me into!”

“Sorry, david. I’ve done it again, haven’t I? Got you into trouble again, through no fault of your own, I mean.

I’m sorry, david, but I can’t just stand by, and TAKE IT!! Caned by women! And being forced to do Housework, by them! Being forced, upon the threat of being caned, to clean and tidy the rooms, of a bunch of lazy and hung over female students!

Just what has happened, to MY BRITAIN!!

I shall stand up to them, david! I will DEFY them! YOU’LL SEE!!  CSO Edna says, that she will BREAK me! Never, david! NEVER!  I’ll show HER, david! Oh, yes! I’LL SHOW HER!!

Anyway, david, enough of THEM, for today! Enough of THEM!

Come on, david! Come back to the house for a glass of wine or two. Yes! We can spend the evening drinking wine, just like last night, and you can tell me what to expect from our Chastisement Sentence, in the ‘FOOTWELLS OF FOLLY’, at the ‘GLASS HOUSE’ Public Bar, and serving as Waiting Attendants, at the CSO’s Social Club. I’m sure we will have a jolly good laugh about it, once we have a glass or two of my fine wines flowing through our veins!”

“OK, mike, YOU’RE ON!!”, I replied, happily, my dour and depressed mood, immediately brightening, at the thought of an evenings drinking, of mike’s mood mellowing and delicious claret, that would also serve to take the edge off our despondent thoughts of our upcoming Chastisement Sentence.

But, as we turned the corner that brought us into mike’s street, we were suddenly brought up short, and to a shocked standstill, as if we had walked into a brick wall, as mike wailed his abject despair, and, the sound of it, made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end, to hear it. “NNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!”

For, parked outside mike’s house, was the AFP van, and, apparently having let themselves into mike’s house with a Master Key, CSO’s Gloria and Edna emerged from mike’s house, each of them carrying a case of wine, which they loaded into the back of their AFP van, and CSO Edna, upon seeing mike and I, quipped, maliciously, “if you’ve come to lend us a hand, you’re too late!”

I had never seen such a sudden and dramatic transformation of someone’s facial features, as I saw then, as I beheld mike’s appalled and grief stricken face. As soon as mike fully understood, the nature and the extent of the atrocity being so brazenly perpetrated against him, and under his very nose, he began to physically fold, and to emotionally come apart at the seams, under the shattering trauma of this intolerable assault.

Distraught, and seemingly in the grip of some sort of physical and mental seizure, his disbelieving and agonized features, foretelling of his imminent deluge of mournful and disconsolate tears, mike staggered up to CSO’s Gloria and Edna, and he demanded of them, in a choked and outraged, and barely discernible, croaked and cracked voice, “what’s going on? What are you doing with my wine?”

Though, I thought we both knew the answer to that!

CSO Edna locked the rear doors of the AFP van, and the quite considerable number of cases of wine disappeared from our sight.

Then, with a malicious, wicked glint in her eyes, CSO Edna replied, gloatingly, “oh, just a little something, that CSO Gloria didn’t tell you, so as to give us a head’s start on you, so that we could do what needed to be done, before you got home.

You see, the Community Services Liaison Officer told CSO Gloria in her phone call, that she thought there was a strong smell of alcohol on both of your breath’s, this morning, and so she instructed us to get to your homes ahead of you, after work today, and to confiscate any alcohol that we found.

We went to david 007’s house first, but, as we suspected, since it has been a long time since david 007 has had the means to enjoy such extravagances as alcohol, we found nothing.

BUT, when we let ourselves into YOUR house, michael R2D2, BINGO! What did we find? JACKPOT! We found 20 cases of wine, in your store room! Not to mention, the dozens of bottles of wine stored in your wine racks!

Thank you, michael R2D2! THANK YOU, SO MUCH!! I am sure that my CSO colleagues and friends will all raise a toast, to you, when we drink your wine for you, at our Social Club!! Hahahaha!!!!”

Visibly crumpling, before my eyes, his face, an eloquent picture of wretched and abject misery, and, like a broken man, who has reached the limits of his endurance to cruel provocations, and has finally come to the end of his tether, mike sank to his knees, in the universal acknowledgement of defeat and submission, and, his capitulation complete, and having seemingly rescinded his avowed statement, of only moments earlier, that CSO Edna would “NEVER BREAK” him, mike had suddenly found out, that he was not, after all, above begging, and that he was not, after all, above pleading, and he begged, and he pleaded, pathetically, “Miss Edna!! NO! PLEASE!! NOT MY WINE!!! DON’T TAKE MY WINE!!!! YOU CAN’T!!”

Her face glowing, and her amused eyes twinkling, as she rejoiced in her sublime victory, she milked her victim for all it was worth, as she savoured her malicious and wicked moment of glorious triumph.

CSO Edna stood before mike, gloating openly, and she looked down on him, seemingly towering over him, as he was brought to his knees before her, his spirit crushed, and his eyes glistening, with the tears of his grief, and from the painful wrenching from him, of his eloquent declaration of his defeat and submission, and, CSO Edna’s words, seemed calculated to hurt mike, even more than her cane strokes, as she openly gloated, and, it seemed to me, that she was, even then, endeavouring and hoping still to provoke mike, despite his clear admission of defeat and submission, into a reckless and disastrous reaction, as she laughed at his wretchedness, and as she smirked, maddeningly, into his upturned and miserable face, as she wickedly goaded him.

“Hahahaha!!!! Just look at michael R2D2, NOW, Gloria! He’s not so uppity NOW! Is he? Oh, I DREAM of days like THIS, Gloria! OH YES!! I TOLD him I would BREAK him! Didn’t I TELL him, Gloria? I TOLD him I would BREAK him! Just LOOK at his pathetic FACE, Gloria! AAWWW, DIDDUMS!! He’s actually going to CRY, Gloria! michael R2D2, is actually going to CRY!! HAHAHAHA!!!!”

Then, CSO Gloria, as though anxious to finally draw a line, under her younger sister and AFP colleague’s lustful and seemingly insatiable taste for cruelty, urged her, “all right, Edna, dear. We’ve had our fun. Come along, now, and let’s go home”.

Then, as CSO’s Gloria and Edna finally got into their AFP van, it was with great difficulty, that I tried to help mike to his feet, with murmured sentiments of condolence and encouragement. But, mike was like a dead and unresponsive weight, in my hands, and, it was like trying to lift a sack of cement, and as though CSO Edna, with her nefarious powers, had turned mike to stone.

Then, as we watched, CSO Gloria drove the AFP van away from the kerb, and, as if she was the Captain of a cruise liner leaving port, and sounding a fond farewell to the cheering and waving people at the quayside, CSO Gloria gave us a happy and jolly sounding double honk of the horn, and, as the AFP van drew level with us, CSO Edna looked at us as she leaned out of the open passenger window, and, raising an imaginary wine glass to her smirking lips, she exclaimed, gloatingly, “CHEERS!! HAHAHAHA!!!!”, and, mike and I could only listen, miserably, to the grating sound of CSO Edna’s cruel, witch like cackling, until it mercifully faded from our range of hearing.

When eventually, and with a great struggle, I had finally managed to get the crestfallen and apparently petrified mike through his own front door, I got him to sit down, before he fell down, and I said to him, consolingly, “come on, mike. It’s not the end of the world. You’ll get over the loss of your wine. And, mike, look on the bright side! Just think of all the hangovers, that you won’t have now!”, I added, trying to lighten mike’s deep and dismal depression.

But, in response, mike replied in sad and plaintive and disconsolate tones. “Oh, you just don’t UNDERSTAND, david! I have always LOVED my wine! I have been buying and enjoying fine wines, for YEARS! I bought my wine in France , and I brought it home aboard the ‘FREEDOM’.

It’s not as though I am your usual undiscerning quaffing slurper, of wine, david! No! Call me a snob, but, I actually APPRECIATE wines! I always allow them to mature, to the peaks of their drinking perfection, before I permit myself to savour them, and do them justice. It is no wonder, and no coincidence, david, that wine is often referred to, as ‘The Drink Of Gods’!

Oh, you can have no idea, david, no idea at all, of just how much I have been looking forward to enjoying those fine wines!

Only to have them so cruelly ‘confiscated’! ‘CONFISCATED’? STOLEN, is the only word for it, david! STOLEN! I am devastated, david. DEVASTATED!

CSO Edna, is a malicious, wicked, cruel and vindictive woman, david. How could I have ever thought, that I could stand up to, and defy a woman like her?

CSO Edna was right, after all, david. She said that she would “BREAK” me, and she has succeeded”, said mike, sadly and disconsolately.

Though the tragic and devastating loss of his fine wines, being the connoisseur, that he clearly was, was evidently a major and crushing blow for mike, I believed, that he was not yet truly and totally defeated, by the implacably cruel forces of the AFP, and, I believed, that his anger, and his acute sense of outrage, would somehow fight their way back to the surface, again.

For I believed, that if there should ever come a time, when an opportunity arose to cast aside our yokes of subjugation and servitude, and to claim back our former rights as free men, once more, that it would be men like mike, who would be at the forefront, and who would be the ones to lead us Community Servants to our salvation.

But, at that moment in time, mike was wallowing in a bleak, deep black sea of depression, and I was deeply concerned, that his inconsolable and fragile state of mind, might deteriorate even further, and actually lead to some sort of nervous breakdown.

He was suffering acutely, not just from the tragic and intolerable loss, of his cellar of fine wines, but equally, it seemed to me, from the manner of so losing them, and, on top of that, there was also the looming spectre of our upcoming and imminent Chastisement Sentence, for the next 6 months, which would entail spending our Friday evenings in being secured into the ‘FOOTWELLS OF FOLLY’, in the ‘GLASS HOUSE’ Public Bar, and also, on our Saturday evenings, serving as Waiting Attendants, at the CSO’s Social Club.

My greatly troublesome, and gravely troubled work partner and friend, mike, I knew, needed ME, now.

He needed ME, to lean on. He needed MY, support. He needed ME, to be there. He needed ME, to tell him that things were going to be ok.

He needed ME!

We were a team, and we were in this thing together!

Come what may!

“How about a nice, hot, cup of tea?”, I suggested.

Slowly, mike turned his face up to me, and he began to nod, dazedly, and as though uncomprehendingly.

Then, mike started to laugh. And laugh. And laugh.

And, there was a curiously unsettling, and slightly disturbing quality to the sound.

And, I could not tell, which emotion was uppermost, in the ringing cries of his now unrestrained laughter; whether it was mirth, or hysteria.

“I’ll put the kettle on”, I said.

COMMUNITY SERVICE continues, in Part ELEVEN.