This story is written by David, please send comments and appreciation to voondave@yahoo.co.uk

After just 5 weeks in power,the A.F.P.,the Authorirtarian Female Party,led by the new Prime Minister,Caroline Flint,had turned Britain into a sort of a Nirvana State,for the female population of Britain,and into something decidedly less,for the male population,especially so,if you happened to be a member of the male Long Term Unemployed,as I was. The A.F.P. had turned over the old,long established order,of a male dominated society,like a cart load of bad apples,and now,it was the ‘gentler sex’,the females of the country,who,under the A.F.P.,held the ‘whip hand’,and who were pulling all the strings,like puppet masters,expertly manipulating the male populace,and forcing them to dance to their tune,like a male species of mercilessly oppressed,obedient marionettes.

5 weeks ago,I, a man of 52,was one of the misguided many,who had voted for the A.F.P.but who now had a multitude of reasons,for wishing that they could turn back the clock,but,as we all know,time,will no more allow us to turn it back,than to make it stand still.You can only move on. And so,as it was quite beyond me,to defy such cosmic dictates,any more than I could defy the Authoritarian Female Party,I moved on,too. Moved on,into my 6^th week of servitude,as Community Servant david 007,in the Town’s ‘Sock Room’.

The Town’s ‘Sock Room’,is situated conveniently,just off the High Street,and,as I waited at the front door of the ‘Sock Room’,for my 2 young supervisors,C.S.O.’s Karen and Linda to arrive,I had to suffer the daily abuse of every passing female,on her way to school,or to work,which ranged from mild amusement,to utter derision and contempt,as they read my I.D. on my white,uniform T.shirt,’Community Servant david 007’. Then,at 8 a.m. on the dot,an A.F.P. van pulled up at the kerb,bearing the Party’s colours,of a flag of blue,green,red,and yellow quarters,and C.S.O.’s Karen and Linda emerged from the van,dressed in their A.F.P. uniforms,made up of the Party colours,of blue blazer,green blouse,red,short skirt,and yellow cotton ankle socks. On their feet,they wore the Party issue footwear,which were very comfortable looking black,backless,rubber soled shoes,like clogs. C.S.O.’s Karen and Linda seemed in a happy mood,this morning,and I hoped it would remain that way,as they were less likely to find fault with my work,when they were in good humour. Opening the the front door with her key,C.S.O. Karen,though,while in a good mood,could still not resist wounding me,with her sadistic,and sarcastic asides and observations,as she now remarked,”looking forward to working a little bit of overtime today,david?” When I found that I could not trust the tone of my voice to be respectful enough,with a reply,C.S.O. Linda said,brightly,”hey,Karen,how many Community Servants does it take to change a light bulb?” With an amused,expectant grin,C.S.O. Karen replied,”dunno,Linda. How many?” To which C.S.O. Linda responded,”I dunno either,depends on how many of them you have to stand on,to reach it!”. And so,it was in this happy state of mind,and in this good humour,that C.S.O.’s Karen and Linda let themselves into the ‘Sock Room’,and,as I followed them in,C.S.O. Linda ordered me,”david,make us some coffee,before you start work”,and,it was not necessary for her to explain to me,that “us”,meant ‘them’,my 2 young supervisors,C.S.O.’s Karen and Linda.

That week,working in the ‘Sock Room’,from 8 a.m. – 9 p.m.,was almost unbearably miserable,not to mention,physically draining,and I thought the days would never end. Then,at long last,it was Friday,the end of my working week,and,I thought,thank goodness,I still had my Saturdays and Sundays free,to recuperate.But,it was never long,before a shadow passed over any light thoughts I may have had,and so it was now,at 9 p.m.,when C.S.O. Karen handed me my ‘pay packet’.She said,referring  to my extra overtime pay,”don’t spend it all at once,david”,and there was a mocking,wicked,gleeful,knowing glint in her eye,as she said it,and as she shared a secret smile,with C.S.O. Linda,who was also emanating almost palpable waves of wicked pleasure.

Upon reaching home,I was literally afraid,to open my pay packet,knowing,instinctively,that another little,but vital,piece of my essence would shrivel up and die,the moment I laid my eyes upon it’s contents.And so,it was with trembling fingers,that I opened my ‘pay packet’,and read the catastrophic contents on the ‘pay slip’,and I could no more have been shocked into stunned stillness,than if I had recklessly dared to gaze at a Medusa. For I knew now,what had put those wicked,cruel gleams of malicious pleasure into the eyes of my guards,supervisors,and ‘chastisers’,C.S.O.’s Karen and Linda. For,reading the contents of my ‘pay slip’,it seemed that I was £5,just £5 better off,for working an extra 4 hours per day,20 hours per week,in total. This was calculated,I saw,by paying my first 10 hours of overtime,at half pay,of my standard rate of £2 per hour,which was worth £10. My second 10 hours of overtime,at quarter pay,which was worth £5. So,my overtime totalled £15. Then,I was taxed at 50%,which left me with £7.50. Finally,National Insurance was deducted from what was left,at one third,which amounted to a further £2.50. deduction. And so,I was left with £5. Just £5,for working 20 hours of overtime,in the drudge house,the soul destroying dungeon,that was the ‘Sock Room’. My overtime pay,worked out at an average rate,of 25 pence per hour. That Friday evening at home,as this sunk in,tears of pure self pity streamed down the distraught features of my face,in bitter,salty waves,as my misery plumbed to new,deep,cold depths of despair,and heart sickness,at this latest,and most cruel of sadistic barbs,inflicted on me,by the new,oppressive,dominating rulers of Britain, the Authoritarian Female Party. I went straight to bed,without even washing,without eating,and even still wearing my Community Servant’s uniform,for,such was the measure of my anguish,in the forlorn hope that sleep,the oblivion that I craved,would rescue me,from this debilitating wretchedness,would be the morphine I so desperately needed,to alleviate this almost unbearable mental torment.But,for what seemed like many hours,I could no more escape from,or avoid,this cruel,sadistic,psychological,and financial torture,any more than I could escape from,or avoid,the canes of my ‘chastisers’,C.S.O.’s Karen and Linda,whenever they saw fit,to ‘warm my bare buttocks’ with them. Eventually,on that dreadful Friday night,at the end of my 6^th week of serving in the Town’s ‘Sock Room’,as Community Servant david 007,at long last,blessed relief,in the form of sleep,did come,as I cried my tears of self pity,into sheer emotional exhaustion,and the final images in my mind,before sleep finally claimed me,were of the pretty,arrogant,and cruel faces,of C.S.O.’s Karen and Linda,as they handed me my ‘pay packet’,and of C.S.O. Karen saying to me,as she shared a secret,cruel,knowing smile,with C.S.O. Linda,words that would remain indelibly etched in my memory,”don’t spend it all at once,david”.

On the following Monday morning,as I walked the 3 miles from my home,to my place of work,and service,in the Town’s ‘Sock Room’,I barely had the will or the energy,and I certainly did not have the inclination,to put one foot in front of the other,in that direction.But,as always,I arrived outside the front door of the ‘Sock Room’,a few minutes before C.S.O.’s Karen and Linda showed up for ‘work’,in their A.F.P. van. Upon seeing my red,puffy eyes,C.S.O. Karen chuckled,and said,”what’s up,david,have you not been sleeping very well?”,and C.S.O. Linda remarked,harshly,”Karen,if david was’nt so lazy,and did his job properly,and worked hard enough,he would have no problem with sleeping.We are obviously being too soft with him,Karen”.Unlike C.S.O. Karen,there was no smile of humour on C.S.O. Linda’s face,as she made her observation.She was perfectly serious. By now,we had entered the ‘Sock Room’,and,as always,my first job of the day,was to accompany C.S.O.’s Karen and Linda into their Office,to make them some coffee.After all,why should my 2 young supervisors make their own coffee,when they had me,Community Servant david 007,to make it for them? Though this convenient custom had been established from my first day of service in the ‘Sock Room’,and I did not now need to be told,or reminded,nevertheless,right on cue,C.S.O. Linda ordered me,with a confident,imperious,and arrogant authority,which she now wore,as surely as she wore her uniform,of the A.F.P.,”david! Make us some coffee.!”.For,both of my supervisors never seemed to tire,of having me under their total command,and of ordering me to do every little thing,and of having me,as was the truth of it,completely at their mercy.

As I made coffee,as ordered,for my 2 young supervisors,while they booted up their Office computer to catch up with their Social Networking,I casually looked around their Office,at the familiar fixtures and fittings,at the portrait prints on the wall,of the Prime Minister,Caroline Flint,surrounded,and supported,it seemed,by similar portrait prints,of all of her extremely capable Cabinet Ministers. I looked at the ambitious,fiercely determined,and implacable faces of those females,who were responsible for my wretched,despairing predicament,and who’s vision of a new,female dominated Britain,was now an established,oppressive reality,and the male members of society,had been comprehensively brought ‘to heel’. On the opposite wall,were a number of Governmental illustrated posters.These posters all came under the same heading,of ‘The Art Of Chastisement’.These illustrated posters,all had one thing in common. They all featured a Community Servant,with his uniform white shorts pulled down around his ankles,to expose his bare buttocks,as per the ‘chastisement’ text book manual.On these instruction posters,Community Service Officers demonstrated,with their stance,and with the different angles and distances that they positioned themselves,with their canes,behind the misdemeanant Community Servant,the many efficacious methods,with which the C.S.O.’s could efficiently,and expertly administer the required ‘chastisement’,to the misdemeanant Community Servant. Now,though,I was jolted to fearful attention,by the stentorian voice of C.S.O. Linda,ringing out,at great volume,who had noticed me looking at the ‘Art Of Chastisement’ posters. “david!!”,she shrieked at me,and I jumped,in surprise,and in shock,and in fear. “I am very sorry,Miss Linda”,I spluttered,in terror,and C.S.O. Karen now warned me,icily,”david,unless you want Miss Linda and I, to practise ‘The Art Of Chastisement’ on you,here and now,for 1 full hour,I advise you to focus your attentions on making our coffee for us,before you start work”. “Yes,Miss Karen! I am sorry,Miss Karen! Thankyou,Miss Karen!”,I babbled,which seemed to irritate C.S.O. Linda,beyond measure,as,her voice now almost shrill,she yelled at me,”Oh! Just shut up! You absolute cretin!”,and I could not help but to get the distinct impression,from C.S.O. Linda,that she was rather warming to the idea,of warming my bare buttocks for me,with an hour’s stress relieving practise,of ‘The Art Of Chastisement’,that C.S.O. Karen had threatened me with,and her face betrayed her disappointment,that she was not,it seemed,after all,going to be indulging herself,with that most pleasurable,and deeply satisfying activity.And C.S.O. Karen,upon seeing that disappointment on her friend and colleague’s pretty features,said to her,”what’s the matter,Linda,you know you can cane 007’s bare bottom,any time you feel like it.So,what’s up,Linda? It’s not boyfriend trouble again,is it?” C.S.O. Linda did not need to voice a reply,as the tears that sprang from her eyes were all the evidence that C.S.O. Karen needed,as to her colleague and friend’s answer,to the affirmative.Putting a consoling arm around C.S.O. Linda’s waist,C.S.O. Karen exclaimed to her,” Oh! Sweetie! Come on,lets go across the road to the café,for a ‘Danish’,and you can tell me all about it,there.We’ll have our coffee when we get back” Then,C.S.O. Karen,turning to me,and in a decidedly different tone of voice,than the comforting one that she used to console her colleague and friend,warned me,severely,for her mood had now become  dark,at the very thought of a male,upsetting her friend so,”we will be back in 10 minutes,david.And when we get back,for your own sake,we had better find you hard at work,performing your duties in the ‘Sock Room’,and I warn you,david,you had better not test my patience with you,today”. Then,upon this last,threatening remark,they left their Office,to go across the road to the café,for a nice ‘girlie’ chat,and a ‘Danish’.

Just as I was finishing making coffee for C.S.O.’s Karen and Linda,my eye happened to notice 2,opened,brown envelopes,which bore the A.F.P. insignia,of a flag of blue,green,red,and yellow quarters. I noticed also,that they bore the names,of C.S.O. Karen,and of C.S.O. Linda. As I stopped making their coffee,I found myself seemingly gravitating towards those 2 brown envelopes,as if drawn by irresistible,stupendously powerful magnets.And,at the end of this strange,but very short journey,I picked up those brown envelopes,and I nervously extracted their contents,with fingers that seemed to act,entirely of their own volition. When I compared the contents of the brown envelopes,I found that they contained the same information,for they were exactly what I had suspected them to be.They were the pay slips,of my 2 young supervisors,C.S.O.’s Karen and Linda.

When I beheld the utterly incredible,obscene amounts of their wages,their take home pay for last week,the first week that I had worked,in the cruel,taunting words of C.S.O. Karen,”a little bit of overtime”,and that C.S.O.’s Karen and Linda had also ‘worked’ the same number of hours,supervising me,I literally collapsed,into an Office chair,by the desk,as the heinous details sunk in. I had heard,on the A.F.P. broadcasts on tv,that the new overtime initiative available to Community Service Officers,announced by the Community Services Minister,Madeline Steel,were purported to be of a very generous nature,but,I was simply not prepared for the tumultuous shock that I felt,upon reading the contents of those payslips,the pay slips of C.S.O’s Karen and Linda. They were already ‘earning’,for their standard 40 hour week,£10. per hour.£400. per week. For the first 10 of their 20 hours of overtime,they ‘earned’ triple time,amounting to £300. For their second 10 hours of overtime,they ‘earned’ quadruple time,amounting to £400. So,the total of their overtime pay,was £700. When I added that onto their basic take home pay of £400.,I arrived at the staggering,mind numbing,and devastating conclusion,that C.S.O.’s Karen and Linda,thanks to the new overtime initiative,and thanks to having me,Community Servant david 007,to supervise,they were now taking home,£1.100. per week! C.S.O.’s Karen and Linda,my guards,my supervisors,my ‘chastisers’,my Nemeses,were actually taking home Eleven Hundred Pounds per week!! Tax Free!!! And their National Insurance was paid for them by The State!!!! I am no mathematician,but I estimated the average rate of their overtime,to be £35. per hour! While the average rate of my own overtime,was 25 pence per hour!!

At the unbearably cruel injustice and humiliation,of what I had just learned,seeped into my every pore,like a singularly pernicious virus,that the human mind and body has no resistance to,my skeleton seemed to fold in upon itself,as though my tendons and connective tissue had snapped and perished,like old,worn out elastic,and I crumpled,lika a bag of loose bones in a sack,and slipped out of the desk chair,to the Office floor,and I curled up,fetus like,and soft,almost animal sounds,moans,of pure,undiluted misery,and wretchedness,came from somewhere deep inside me,and seemingly of their own accord. And,once again the waterworks of my eyes kicked into action,like a sprinkler system,detecting an outbreak of fire,like twin taps being turned on together.But not like normal taps,of hot and cold.No,these taps only poured out lukewarm water,tainted brackishly,with salt,and wretchedness.

And,it was like this,that C.S.O.’s Karen and Linda stumbled upon me,or they would have stumbled upon me,had they not heard my moans of agonised anguish,first,and so were thereby alerted to the fact that something was amiss,when they returned to their Office after their ‘girlie’ chat,and their ‘Danish’. “What’s that funny noise?”,wondered C.S.O. Karen,aloud,as she came in through the Office door.A moment later,they both stood over me,having solved the slightly quirky puzzle of the “funny noise”. “What’s his problem?”,enquired C.S.O. Linda,of C.S.O. Karen,with mild,almost indifferent curiosity. C.S.O. Karen then knelt down,and shouted in my face,with the greatest force of decibels that she could muster,”david! Get up!! Get yourself to work! Now! This instant!” Then,at a touch on her shoulder from C.S.O. Linda,C.S.O. Karen turned around,as C.S.O. Linda exclaimed,”look,Karen!”.And when C.S O. Karen did look,it explained everything,she thought. For,C.S.O. Linda was pointing at the 2 payslips on the desk,and which they knew now,that I had taken out of their brown envelopes,and read them. Now,C.S.O. Karen,gently placed the toe of her black,backless,rubber soled clog,to my tear drenched cheek,and she said,almost sorrowfully,”oh,you are in trouble now,david”. In response to C.S.O. Karen’s chilling words,I wailed,pathetically,wretchedly,”I’M SO UNHAAAAAPPY!!”. In response to my outburst,C.S.O. Linda promised,icily,”oh,you are going to be unhappy,david”.To which I further responded,”I’M SO SAAAAAAD!!!”. This only served to make C.S.O. Linda very angry,and she shrieked at me,at the top of her voice,”SHUUUUUUUUT UUUUUUUP!!!” Now,C.S.O. Karen,upon seeing her friend and colleague about to completely lose her cool with me,seemingly on the very point of blowing her top,she said,”come on,Linda,david’s gone too far,this time.We’ll have to drag him before the Liaison Officer”. Brightening considerably,at this agreeable prospect,C.S.O. Linda knelt before me,and said quietly,for there was no longer any point in shouting at me,and giving herself a sore throat in the process,”did you hear what Miss Karen just said,david? You have a choice,david. You can either get to your feet,this instant,or Miss Karen and I will each grab hold of one of your legs,and we will literally drag you,david,all the way across Town,to put you before the Liaison Officer”. When I did not recover from my ‘breakdown’,at the very instant that C.S.O. Linda had stopped speaking,C.S.O. Karen bellowed,almost loud enough to shatter the Office windows,”we are waiting,david!!!”. I knew that this was no idle threat.I had learned,from my first day of servitude in the ‘Sock Room’,that my 2 young supervisors,’did’nt do’ idle threats. So,beforeC.S.O.’s Karen and Linda could make up my mind for me,and carry out their dire threat,I somehow dragged myself to my feet,in what was possibly the fastest recovery from nervous breakdown,in medical history,and,immediately,and with all the force of their angry,outraged grips on my arms,they locked up the ‘Sock Room’,and they marched me across the Town Square.The members of the public,who saw us,paid scant attention to us,as by now,into the 7^th week of rule,under the Authoritarian Female Party,the sight of a Community Servant being marched,under the escort of 2 Community Service Officers,was an all too common sight,a decidedly humdrum,non event.

It was only a matter of a short,5 minute walk,(though,in the circumstances,it seemed much longer to me) across Town,to our destination,the Community Services Operations Centre,where C.S.O.’s Karen and Linda,hauled me before the powerful,severe presence,of the Community Services Liaison Officer,who’s mercy I was now at,and who held my future in her hands. She was a fearsome personality to have to stand before,and I found that I was starting to tremble,with fear and trepidation,as she regarded me haughtily,disdainfully,contemptuously,for a few moments,while she took pleasure in my discomfiture. On our way over here,C.S.O.’s Karen and Linda,had drilled me, on what they wanted me to say to the Liaison Officer. So now,when she addressed me,and demanded,severely,”Community Servant david 007,why have you been brought here,before me?”,I knew what I must answer. “Madam,I have abused the many kindnesses shown to me,on many occasions,by my 2 supervisors,Community Service Officers Karen and Linda. I have worn out the patience of their gentle,considerate natures,with my constant laziness,my shoddy work,my  dereliction of my duties,and my repeated disrespect,to the female members of the public,who are kind enough to use the services of the ‘Sock Room’,thereby enabling me to earn my Unemployment Benefit Payments,by virtue of my being allowed to serve them,by washing and ironing their dirty socks,and sometimes,allowed the special privilege,of enjoying the marvellous perfume of their foot aroma,and also the ambrosial taste of their feet,by allowing me the great honour,of licking their feet clean,for them.,Madam Liaison Officer”. After a moment of appearing to consider,and to weigh my testimony,the Liaison Officer demanded of me,”is that all,david?”.To which I replied,querulously,”no,Madam.I also wish to confess,that I invaded the sacred privacy,of my kind and considerate supervisors,by opening their pay packets,and reading their pay slips,when they left me alone in their Office,in a position of trust,and I treacherously betrayed their trust,Madam”. At this utterly condemning admission,the face of the Liaison Officer seemed to cloud over,as though with the gathering of puce coloured storm clouds,and lightening flashed from her eyes,and now,thunderclaps exploded from her angry mouth,as she bellowed,with almost ear perforating power,”YOU DID WHAT?!!!”. The Liaison Officer,taking my silence as a further admission,and confirmation of my self confessed guilt,she now composed herself,and addressed me again,to pronounce her ‘chastisement’ sentence upon me. “Community Servant david 007,even though this is the first time that you have been brought before me,the very serious nature of your offences,does not allow for any leniency,in your ‘chastisement’ sentence.Therefore,you leave me with no choice as to the severity of the sentence that I must now award you. Community Servant david 007,it is the duty of my Office,to award you a sentence of,and starting from this Saturday,a total of 50 Saturdays,of ‘chastisement’,for 12 hour periods,in the Town Square . Between the hours of 2 p.m. – 10 p.m.,you will be tied to the Public Caning Post,where you will have your uniform shorts pulled down around your ankles,as per the ‘chastisement’ text book manual.Then,at 10 p.m.,you will be removed from the Public Caning Post,and escorted to ‘Prostitutes Parade’,where you will serve,until 2 a.m.,secured in the stocks,on a rubber mat,on your hands and knees,and with your head protruding through a hole in the stocks,and fixed in place,approximately 2 feet above the pavement,at the recommended height of maximum convenience,for the prostitutes there,to easily and conveniently avail themselves of your services.Do you understand your ‘chastisement’ sentence,Community Servant david 007?” “Yes,Madam Liaison Officer”,I replied,numbly. “Have you anything to say,Community Servant david 007?” “Yes,Madam”,I responded,as instructed by C.S.O.’s Karen and Linda. “Thankyou,Madam”,I said.

On our way back to the ‘Sock Room’,C.S.O. Linda complained.bitterly,”only 50 Saturdays,for what david did? If it was up to me,Karen,I would have sentenced him to 100 Saturdays!” To which C.S.O. Karen responded,”ha ha ha!,maybe he will get that next time.Linda”.

When we got back to the ‘Sock Room’,there was a small crowd of females waiting for us,outside,wanting to change their dirty socks,for clean ones. And,I saw Miss Sally,the schoolgirl with the sour,acidic,vinegary feet,who,I thought,must be truanting from school,at this time of day,and I was filled with unease,as she looked me in the eye,and addressed herself to my supervisors,”guards,I want david to lick my feet clean,for me”. Then,C.S.O.’s Karen and Linda,still holding onto my arms,said to Miss Sally,”of course,Miss.Just make yourself comfortable on a recliner,and we’ll bring david to you”.At this,Miss Sally’s pimply,ordinary,unprepossessing young face,lit up with pleasure and anticipation,at the very thought of having me,a man of 52,at her sour,vinegary feet,licking them clean for her,because she wanted me to,and because she commanded me to. And,I thought,miserably,this must be the exact opposite,of the proverbial ‘icing on the cake’,surely,I thought,things could’nt get any worse. Could they?

My COMMUNITY SERVICE continues,in Part 6.