Chief Stewardess Julie Davies, of the
popular travel company Sunshine Holidays, based at Manchester Airport
Terminal 2, led the way along a corridor at a brisk, businesslike pace,
with Danny Dawson and his three fellow Air Purification Technicians
his former school pals following closely at her heels.
A minute or so later, Chief Stewardess
Julie Davies halted, and she pointed to one of two white-painted doors
the one that bore the sign: Gentlemen. "Toilets," the senior air hostess
said succinctly. "It's a three-hour flight, to Corfu, and you won't be
able to go to the loo in-flight. Be quick I want you all in and out of
there, in double-quick time. I'll wait here for you. Now hurry up, the
lot of you!"
Once they were in the privacy of the
Gents' toilets, the four former classmates all of them,
eighteen-year-old school leavers with no education or training to go to
upon their leaving education and, would-be 'career claimants' then had
their first chance to talk to each other freely, about the mysterious,
and seemingly unfathomable circumstances in which they had all found
themselves.
"Ruddy 'Air Purification Technicians'
...? Some joker at the Job Centre's having a ruddy good laugh, aren't
they?" suggested Kelvin Costello, not unreasonably.
"Must be!" Eric Pierce agreed feelingly.
"There's no other explanation!" he opined with conviction. Eric added,
vindictively, "It would be just like them!"
"What do you think, Danny?" asked Alan
Wallace. His dubious tone, clearly suggesting that there must be more to
their situation than met the eye ruddy hell! Nothing did, meet the
eye!
"I dunno, Al," replied Danny, just as
clueless as his pals. "Your guess is as good as mine. I can't make any
sense of it ... I mean, you'd think that you'd need some kind of
qualifications, wouldn't you, to be an"
There was a loud knocking on the
Gents' door, and the adjuring tones of Chief Stewardess Julie Davies
harangued the four former school chums, interrupting their impromptu
confab regarding the puzzling question at hand. "What's
keeping you? I said: Hurry! Up!!" the senior air hostess shouted, loudly
and impatiently.
"It's still not too late to do
a runner," suggested Kelvin. "I'm absolutely knackered. I'm not used to
getting up in the middle of the night. Oh, man, I'd love to go back to
bed!"
"I feel like death warmed up
too, Kel," replied Eric. "But what's the point of doing a runner? Eh?
Our Unemployment Benefit payments would be stopped straight away. I
mean, what would we do for money then?"
"I keep thinking this is all
just some big mess-up," said Alan. "You know; some imbecile down at the
Job Centre has picked up the wrong folder by mistake, pulled our names
out of it, and"
"If only!" blurted Danny,
interrupting Alan in mid-flow. "My mum says there's no chance of all
this being a mistake. It's all to do with the Authoritarian Female Party
they are the ones behind these ruddy so-called 'placements'. My dad
has been taken off Disability Allowance, and he's reporting to the
Community Service Liaison Officer this morning a Miss Martinette. Mum
says there will be big changes now, with women running the country.
Women like Caroline Flint, and Harriet Harmman. They are putting their
foot down, on people like us, people who ... who"
There was a tremendous
thudding upon the Gents' door, as Chief Stewardess Julie Davies banged
an irate fist against it.
Upon hearing the sounds of conversation
coming from inside the Gents', the senior air hostess had pressed her
ear against the door, in trying to make out the gist of what her four
nattering charges were saying to each other just in time to catch
Danny saying: "It's all to do with the Authoritarian Female Party they
are the ones behind these ruddy so-called 'placements'."
"You lot! Out of there! Now! This
instant!!" the senior air hostess yelled in annoyance. And Danny and his
three former schoolmates sheepishly exited the Gents', having got no
further forward in shedding any sort of light upon the perplexing
mystery.
As soon as the unhappy foursome were out
of the Gents', Chief Stewardess Julie Davies irately confronted Danny.
"Dawson, what did I just tell you?" she demanded hotly. "I said time is
short, and I wanted you in and out of there in double-quick time not
to waste even more time, standing around gossiping like an old fish
wife! I shall have to make due note of this, when I write up your
Satisfaction of Conduct report."
Embarrassed and resentful, Danny's face
reddened at being singled out for a sharp, belittling telling-off by the
senior air hostess and right in front of his friends, too. Why is she
picking on me? Danny wondered peevishly. Still ... he knew better than
to complain.
At a brisk almost urgent pace, Chief
Stewardess Julie Davies then led her four still-perplexed charges
directly to Gate 16. The senior air hostess ushered the four Air
Purification Technicians through an air-corridor that, at the end of
which they found themselves at the rear entrance door of a Sunshine
Holidays jet-liner.
* * *
By now, all of the Sunshine Holidays
passengers were aboard the airliner and awaiting take-off. The
good-value, highly popular travel company's jet-liner was, as usual,
full to maximum capacity, and its contingent of 200 package-holiday
customers were waiting with growing impatience; itching to see the first
sign of their being borne away to their Greek Island holiday.
At the jet-liner's rear entrance door,
Danny saw an air hostess waiting there. And, if her body language was
any sort of guide, she was in a lather of agitation; appearing
irritated, annoyed and impatient, as she awaited the arrival of her
Chief Stewardess.
For the air hostess was repeatedly
switching standing from foot to foot and, as soon as she had released
her standing weight from one foot, with her uniform issue, dark-blue,
two-inch heeled pump half on and half off her foot, she would repeatedly
jab at the floor with her heel as if unconsciously taking it out on
the unknown culprit of her distress and displeasure.
Danny guessed the air hostess was about
twenty-one years old the same age as his sister Elaine. By air hostess
standards, she was quite short and, though she was rather plump as well,
Danny thought she was ... well, kind of cuddly, rather than
dumpy-looking. She had light-brown eyes, neck-length blonde hair that
was cut dead straight as if she'd had it cut with a guillotine, rather
than gone to the hair dresser and an equally straight fringe. Danny
thought she was a 'bit of all right', as the crude complimentary saying
went.
Upon at last seeing the arrival of the
Chief Stewardess, along with her four bemused charges who straggled
miserably along behind her, the agitated air hostess waiting by the rear
entrance door exclaimed, in obvious relief, "Julie! At last!! Where have
you been? Buck's been doing his nut! He's been a right pain in the
you-know-what. He says we're in danger of losing our take-off slot. He
says that, if we do, there'll be hell to pay!"
"Don't you worry about Captain Marvel,
Carol," replied Chief Stewardess Julie Davies, coolness personified.
"I'll deal with Buck."
To which, air hostess Carol showing
that she was already recovering her equilibrium quipped, "Isn't that
called mixing your metaphors, or something?"
In a gesture characteristic of
long-suffering, Chief Stewardess Julie Davies tut-tutted and rolled her
eyes heavenwards. "Don't start, Carol it's too early in the day. And
I'm already in a foul mood, because of Dawson, here, almost making us
late for take-off," she said, indicating Danny by means of giving a
light slap to the back of his head. "First, he's late reporting for
duty. And then lo and behold he's only holding a conference in the
Gents' toilet!"
Air hostess Carol glared at Danny; eyes
blazing, and a rosy hue suddenly tinging her pale cheeks. "Oh! So it's
because of you, is it? Because of you, that I've been going out of my
mind with worry! Because of you, that we nearly missed our take-off
slot! Because of you"
"Later, Carol. We haven't got the time.
And besides, you'll have to join the queue, if you want to tear a strip
off Dawson," said the Chief Stewardess.
Danny was more glum than ever. Yet
another telling-off! And now he had got himself into air hostess Carol's
bad books, too.
Chief Stewardess Julie Davies then picked
up the rear galley intercom microphone, switched it on, and spoke calmly
and crisply into it. "Sorry for the slight delay, Captain Rogers. You
can contact the control tower now, and request immediate clearance for
take-off."
"Good of you," replied Captain Simon
('Buck') Rogers curtly. Only three words, yet the Captain managing to
soak his three words in such sopping, dripping-wet sarcasm, that Danny
wondered if sarcasm was the normal mode of on-board communication
between air crew a sort of CB radio lingo of the skies.
"Good old Buck," responded Chief
Stewardess Julie Davies, with equally heavy sarcasm after she'd
switched off the intercom.
After the rear entrance door to the
aircraft had been shut and secured, Chief Stewardess Julie Davies turned
her full attention to the matter at hand. Her joker-in-the-pack
colleague, Carol, had now been joined by the other two air hostesses who
were operating on the flight, and who would be working the forward
galley Ann and Diane ... And Danny thought that they both very
attractive, brown-eyed, tall and leggy brunettes were a 'bit of all
right', too.
Gesturing towards Danny and his three
companions, Chief Stewardess Julie Davies said to her three colleagues,
"Right then, we'd better get a move on, and get the ... the Air
Purification Technicians, in ... On Station. We'd best get cracking,
we'll soon be"
There was the sudden, brief sound of
static as the public address system was switched on, and the sound of
Captain Simon (Buck) Rogers's debonair voice filled the aircraft
cabin. "Good morning. This is Captain Rogers, extending a warm welcome
on behalf of Sunshine Holidays," the Captain said smoothly.
"Please ensure that your safety belts are
fastened, as we shall shortly be preparing for take-off. Today's flight
to Corfu will take just over three hours possibly a little longer, as
there will be a slight headwind. Our cruising altitude, today for
those of you who are interested in that sort of thing will be thirty
thousand feet.
"The weather forecast for the Greek
Islands is reported to be generally fine and sunny, with light, to
moderate winds, and with the temperature in the Ionian Islands today
expected to reach about twenty-seven degrees Celsius. That's the
low-eighties, in Fahrenheit.
"This is your Captain, thanking you for
choosing Sunshine Holidays, and wishing you a pleasant flight on this,
inaugural flight, introducing the very first team of ... 'Air
Purification Technicians' ... heh heh heh."
Danny and his three former school chums
looked at each other; their faces, bewildered, and betraying unease and
concern.
Danny thought there was something ...
almost sinister, in the way the Captain had laughed. And, looking at the
faces of Eric, Kelvin and Alan, he realised that they had sensed it too.
They hadn't liked the sound of Captain (Buck) Rogers's sinister-sounding
little chuckle, either. They hadn't liked the sound of it, one little
bit ... Just what the hell, was going on here? wondered Danny.
There was then the rising note of the
aircraft's engines, followed by the rumble and slight jolt of movement
as the Sunshine Holidays jet-liner began to taxi towards the runway.
Now, Chief Stewardess Julie Davies turned
to her three colleagues air hostesses Carol, Ann and Diane saying
urgently, "We're moving! Come on, we'll have to hurry! We need to get
the Air Purification Technicians into their positions, before take-off!"
Danny looked at the faces of the four air
hostesses, and he was sure that he saw an amused, secretive, in-the-know
smile pass between them. A smile of conspiracy.
Danny now realised, that he had seen that
same amused, secretive, in-the-know smile before.
He had glimpsed it, upon the face of the
Sunshine Holidays Information Desk receptionist, Stella. When Stella had
fluttered her fingers goodbye in a friendly, jaunty little wave of
farewell to Chief Stewardess Julie Davies, when the senior air hostess
had said to her: "See you on Thursday, Stel."
And Danny had heard a certain ...
smugness, conveyed in the Information Desk receptionist's voice, while
she was making her passenger information announcement.
Pleasure and gratification. That was what
Danny had discerned, in the Information Desk receptionist's voice.
When Stella had made her final call, for
Flight SH 123 to Corfu.