Dear mistress: I feel forced to go back in my life to see whether my need for domination, humiliation, degradation and pain is coincidental or there are some roots long ago. It has been stronger with the age. To day I feel I can give up everything to serve a mistress full time.

I have a good reputation as a professional management trainer and I have spent many years to reach this reputation. Every time I visit old buildings such as old castles, where we sometimes have seminars I spend time thinking if there might be a dungeon somewhere and if, may be, there is a slave serving in the castle.

I canīt remember if my parents have spanked me when I was young but maybe I have repressed these occasions. What I remember is that my parents sent me away to summer programs (may be with the purpose to educate me). I know I was a very naughty boy and created problems for my parents (no criminal things). Those programs were very tuff and I can remember situations when I was dragged down into a cellar to stay there a whole night by one of the ”teachers.” Next morning he told me in front of everybody that I was going to be punished Saturday evening. Saturday evening was a usual day for giving punishment in ”public”.

We were three victims this evening. Everyone in the program (both boys and girls) were gathered to look at the administration of the punishment. Two hours before the ceremony or ritual, whatever it is called, we were caught by some guards working in the school with the purpose to keep things in order. We were put on handcuffs and dragged to the place where the ritual should be held. I remember it was a stage where it was cages and all equipment possible for punishing young boys and girls. We were thrown into the cages. They locked the doors and told us that we will have something we canīt even dream of.

May be you donīt believe what I am writing, but this is true and it happened in Sweden when I was a boy. Of course our parents didnīt believe our stories when we came home.

I still remember the noise from all boys and girls out there. They couldnīt see us because of a curtain, but suddenly someone turned on the light at the stage and the headmaster entered the stage. She told everyone that this punishment is given because of a lot of things, actually lies. They wanted this to happen and then they caught three of us. We were naughty but not that naughty.

Then suddenly the cages were opened and we had to enter the stage, all the three of us. These are the victims, said madam and told the names and what we had done and what kind of punishment. I was supposed to be caned. 20 whippings and tied on the horse. They tied me very carefully with my button upwards. Then I had twenty cane whippings which I never forget.

This happened twice during my stay at this summer school. I was sent to this school 3 summer-seasons. Of course this together with the spanking over her knee my mother gave me when I did something naughty. I mourned her when she died probably because of the fact that she left a big black hole in my life. No one could replace her. I began to understand the importance of her education methods.

Our games we played as boys were normally something with Indians and slaves. I always wanted to be the slave. I remember times when we had our games in the forest. I was tied up or caved or had to serve someone. He always had a whip. These games were very cruel as games are between boys.

At school I remember my mathematic teacher. He always preferred spanking as a correction method. Every Saturday morning between 9 and 10 was his punishment ritual. He was a sadist, a real one. If we couldnīt answer his question we were threatened with the Saturday punishment. ”Remember Saturday!” was his special expression. At least once a month I was punished by him in front of the whole class.

All these situations have of course built up my yearning for humiliation and pain. After my mother died I also had a yearning for dressing in womenīs clothes, especially the underwear. I never become a TV but sometimes it comes back again. Worship is may be a part of it. I love kissing the feet of my mistress and I sometimes yearn for licking the high heeled boots of my mistress, especially if they are black.

My first marriage was to be true a real disaster. It lasted for 15 years. She was 100% dependent upon her parents. We actually didnīt build up something of our own. Of course we had a house with one child. I had a good profession. I earned the money to our family. In order to satisfy my masochistic feelings I had to visit porno shops, looking at videos and imagine that the girl (!) in the movie was me. When she was tied up and whipped I could nearly feel the wonderful leather at my skin. I dreamt that I was a slave to be handled the way my mistress wished.

But this was artificial. This was not real even if it was during the few minutes it lasted. I tried contact adverts but it didnīt work out. Then suddenly I met a mistress who I visited for two years of my life. I had some problems to explain; late coming home, etc. but it worked. This was a fantastic period. She dominated me for two years. Every time I came to her she was dressed in high heeled black boots carrying her riding-whip. I had to undress, put on the handcuffs, my collar and kneel for her.

Then I had to tell her every little tiny and dirty detail about what has been going on since last time, especially my sex life with my wife (which was not very good). My visits were like ceremonies with special rituals. The next step was the worship of her body, especially her feet. I had to lick and suck her toes, especially in between. In the meantime she whipped me with her riding-whip. Then came the spanking part, which was very short, more an opening of the sexy part. I was tied up in the bed and raped by her. After that I was forced to lick her dry. During the raping she whipped me. Sometimes she dropped wax on my nipples. She was terrific. I loved her from the bottom of my heart. When my marriage ended -- with a crash I started a close relation with my mistress sister who visited us during our sessions. She promised me that our relation should be different.

Suddenly I found myself right in the middle of a new marriage but this was a mistress -- slave relation which I sincerely liked. She was very dominant. However I could do my work, which contained a lot of traveling but I always was forced to carry a special envelope with a letter to a very dominant mistress in the city where I was working. She wanted me to have regular ”discipline training”. This is what she wrote:

----------------------------------------------------------------- Dear mistress,

You have in front of you a miserable creature, which needs to be punished. He is my husband and slave. He has some problems with his behaviour. If you, please, would like to take from your valuable time to train him equal to punish him in order to decrease these bad behaviors. When he is abroad I have very little control of him. I have told him to visit you.

There is a terrible need for tying him up because of the fact that he sometimes have problems with the punishment situation. Sometimes he likes to run away. To be sure put a doggy collar on him to make sure that he will stay where he is supposed to be.

Sometimes he does things which is not according to all my rules. Then he needs to be severe punished. This is what you will find out. I can go on forever. He is such a miserable creature. When my lover is at my home, he is our slave. He serves us with everything. He is also forced to look at us when we make love. This is one way of humiliate him. I love that.

Now to his treatment. If I may suggest as follows:

1. Tie him up carefully at the cross (X). Use as much leather straps as you have. And donīt forget the belt at his waist. And please donīt forget to humiliate him. Ask him for instance about what kind of services he is forced to do when my lover is here.

2. Start with a paddle to warm him up. Concentrate on his buttocks And please no marks! We shall have a party when he comes home and then we will use him in special games. He is always naked!

3. Then please continue with a riding whip (or horse whip) and, if you have, a thin twig or something which makes his skin good.

4. When this is done please use what you want, e.g. a cat O nine tail (leatherwhip)

If he is crying, I recommend a gag. And donīt stop because of that!!!!! Finish everything with forcing him to masturbate in front of you.

You canīt imagine how good I feel after writing this letter to you. My lover and I have created it together. My husband knows nothing. We sealed the envelope and asked him to give it to a madam or mistress when he arrived. Guess what I and my lover will do now. First our slave will warm us up equal to I will whip him in front of my lover. While I whip him he is forced to masturbate. I love to humiliate him.

Thank you in advance. Best regards, Mistress Maud

I forgot to tell you. This was something in my life which changed all my values. After one trip abroad (this was before she started to write those letters) I found my wife together with a man in her bed fucking. I was surprised but as her slave I could do nothing. My wife looked up for a moment and presented her lover to me and me as a slave to him. I could see that she loved this situation. Her specialty if we exclude whipping of all sorts is humiliation.

”Take off your clothes and put on the lady underwear and the high heels and stand there looking and waiting till we have finished!” So I had to stand there looking at my wife fucking another man. When they had come both of them, it was my duty to lick her clean (to be true, I have never liked this). The first time this was terrible but you had to get used to everything. Go and get coffee to us! You may serve it here in the bedroom. When I came back she wanted me to show him the cellar with the cages and all the equipment which I had made. She had one day bought material including leather straps, etc., and drawings. Do you want to try one or more of the equipment she asked him. Of course. Mistress Maud commanded me to lean over the torture horse and he and she tied me up while kissing each other. He was touching her body, kissing and other things. This whip is good -- use it. You can beat as much as you like. He can take it. And if he canīt I will give him a special treatment to night when you have left. I donīt want you to see my cruelty in real life. You are my lover, not my slave.

Are you prepared you bloody slave? I said yes, master. Then he started the whipping. Somebody told me once that their are differences in whipping from a man and a woman. Women are more cruel towards men but men are more cruel towards women. So I was lucky at least for a short while.

Suddenly mistress Maud cried out:”What the hell are you doing, my lover. You are only teasing him, not giving him pain!” ”Look at him for God sake!” Look at his eyes, he loves it. You better watch yourself so that I will not change the two of you. Look now. She punished me (instead of him) by using a cane and 30 times on my ass and legs. I couldnīt help screaming. I will punish you for this, mistress Maud said, but not now. I want another fucking. I am very much turned on. She put me in a cage close to the bed in the torture room. Look now your miserable creature. This is how a penis should look like. Show him right in his face. Suck it, she commanded. I was forced to be humiliated by sucking his cook. When it become stiff, he turned to Maud and started fucking. After half an hour they came and now it was my time to lick both of them clean. She opened the cage and ordered me to do so. I obeyed without hesitation.

You will sleep in the cage tonight so you had better go in and lock the door and through the keys to me. Have a nice sleep you miserable slave? After one our he left and Maud was alone with her miserable slave I thought. Then suddenly she changed temper. Come out and lick my body while I am whipping you with your favorite leather whip. Lick me till I come. Then you are permitted to masturbate in front of me. After the masturbation I intend to give you 20 times the cane as a punishment. Then you are allowed to sleep with me. If you can you are also allowed to fuck me. I knew that this was more or less impossible.

This is how it normally went on in my marriage with mistress Maud. I became stronger and stronger and could take more and more which made Maud very happy. She talked about her slave and was obviously very proud of me. Her friends envied her and one day one of her friends asked her to rent me for a weekend. Because of the fact that we had all the equipment in the house she also rented our house over the weekend. She was going to have a party only with girls. I was supposed to be the clove of the night, or rather over the weekend.

She gave me all the instructions and all the punishment ratings if something should go wrong. I was dressed like a slave, you know how and opened the door for the guests, took their clothes and welcomed them to the party. Every one of the guests gave comments to me like for instance, ”you better watch yourself...” or wait till later, I am very horny for humiliate a slave and give him pain” or ”see if you will survive the weekend”.

Then I served the drinks and one of the most horny sadists made me fall with two drinks, which came over her, very convenient. See what the miserable slave did, ruined my new dress. He must be punished immediately. Everyone agreed upon that. Letīs begin with the trapets. I was tied to it and they stretched the rope so that I lost the contact with floor. Thatīs good said everyone. She asked me if I know why I was going to be punished and I told the whole story. This is a serious crime and I think we will start with the leather whip and whip you during 20 minutes.

She began with my legs and the pain was very strong more depending on the fact that this was the first whipping for to day and it takes a few moment before the body accepts it. So I started to move my legs. ”Keep your legs still!” she shouted. Two girls, come and hold his legs. It will be a better effect. They came up and hold each leg spread apart. Now she was able to whip at the inside of my legs, which is more sensitive than the others. ”Hold him carefully now, I intend to whip his cook red”. Everybody applauded. Maybe we should tie his legs up. They did so and stretched my body so it was impossible to move. Now he is safe! All the whipping fell on my cook. It was quite a feeling. I felt I could take it and maybe enjoy it, at least a little.

”Look at his face while I am whipping him, and his body. Even if he canīt move, he reacts. I begin to turn on. This was maybe to much in the beginning of the evening,” she said. I could feel that the strength in the whipping increased, but it became more irregular, but quicker. She whipped all my body now. Quite a session. What will come out of this evening was one of my thoughts? This increased my expectations a lot. Suddenly she cried loudly and stopped her whipping. She had come. ”Lick me dry, she told me”. I was removed from the ropes and everything and fell on my knees in front of her and started to lick her dry. I was aloud to take a shower and then come back for more service.

When I came back I had to serve drinks to the girls. While I was doing so the girls whipped me with their horse whips. Sometimes I had problems to serve steady. Time for another game. One of the girls felt a kind of responsibility to keep thing going on. You canīt loose valuable time. Letīs form creative sadistic teams to come up with interesting games. During the discussion our slave is forced to circulate and really listen to what the groups have come up to. I was forced to start at group number one. ”Lick me, while Iīm creating”. The result will be much better as to the sadistic touch”. ” On your knees!!” While I was licking the girl came up with real sadistic ideas as electric things, toiletting, hanging upside down with a candle in my ass. (Licking nowadays are a little bit dangerous because of diseases. I can do it with my wife, but not with others. If a mistress demands licking her, I refuse and have to take the severe punishment)

Then I went to group two. They focused very much on caning and whipping. (a nice group). Another group found it interesting to torture my nipples. Then there was a decision which group to start. The torturing group started.

I was tied up like an X and very hard. The hole body was stretched and one of the girls came up to me with clips. But before she teased my nipples, sucked them and suddenly without a warning she put on the first clip. ”Look at his face - look at the pain coming”.

All the girls came up to to the X equipment to look. They took the clip and turned it 90 degrees to see the reaction. I couldnīt help giving out a sound. The pain gave kind of reflexes which I could do nothing to stop. I like that said someone. Letīs do it again. The same reaction from me. Does it hurt, slave? I nodded my head. Very good was the answer. Letīs continue with the other one. But first a short preparation. One of the girls teased my nipple, sucked it for a while and another one sucked my cook. I was moaning.

Suddenly one of the girls put clip number two on my nipple. Look at his face. Itīs wonderful. Pain is terrific. He is reacting very good. I begin to be turned on. I felt the teeth of the clips biting my nipples and the pain like waves coming and going. They looked at me. At the same time they teased each other, kissed each other, sucked each others. When I didnīt react they turned the clips around.

Now itīs time to increase the pain a little. They brought forward cables and attached them to the clips and my balls. Letīs turn off the light and turn on the spotlights. Now my face was in focus. One of the girls started to tease me by sucking my cock, kissing my mouth, and licking my body. This went on for 10 minutes. It was fantastic. Then suddenly she stopped and the power was turned on. My whole body began to shake and I cried in a loud voice. That made one of the girls cum. The girl continued to tease me for a while with the same procedure. This went on for at least one hour. I was completely finished. Suddenly everything faded away. I fainted. (I have been shocked with electricity a couple of times but I have problems with it, maybe I am so scared that it takes away the satisfaction) I woke up in the shower. Two girls were treating me with cold water and massage. You fainted, they told me. Our job is to get you fit for fight again. They are waiting for you. The electricity part is over.

The massage and the oils used on my body made the recovering very quick and after another 20 minutes I was ”on stage” again. They gave applauded me. Shouldnīt you apologize for fainting in the middle of a session like this? Immediately I got on my knees and said that I am very sorry for what has happened. I am here to serve you, my superiors. I am only a slave or an ”it” to be used as you like. I have to take my punishment for fainting. I am ready for what ever punishment you feel is appropriate.

"Tie him up and whip him with birch, cane him and use the leather whip on all his body!", shouted all the girls. "But start with a toilet session. He must remember what he is. Not more than a toilet seat. Lay down and stretch your legs and arms." They tied me up on the floor and 5 girls were standing in a que waiting for the right moment. While waiting one of the girls commenced whipping my body. Open your mouth! Then she spitted in it. Swallow! (I donīt like and have never liked toilet sex even if I have tried once or twice long time ago. I think itīs time for our toilet visits. A chair with a hole was placed over my face. Open your mouth. You are now a toilet! Everybody laughed. The first girl pied right into my mouth. Swallow. I had to but didnīt like it. Afterwards I had to lick her dry. Then followed the same procedure for all the others. This will probably teach you not to faint again. Yes, Mistress, I replied. I smelled like a toilet so I had to go for a shower before the next part of the punishment.

I will never forget this special experience. When I was delivered back to my mistress, she told me that she had booked me for two weeks vacation at a reformatory and disciplinary school in the northern part of England. She said I badly needed this after a session together with those girls. I couldnīt really follow her in her thoughts. Why a reformatory school? Do I behave badly or has someone made a complaint? A slave is never allowed to question things so I accepted my destiny. She is my superior. She knows best. She promised to drive all the way up to the school to see to it that I will arrive in a proper way. She also wanted to have a discussion with the head master about my stay.

"I really look forward to this week. It will do you good. Itīs like old days. You will be dressed in a uniform and have lessons like before. They have very strict rules, which of course limits your possibilities but this is what you need. It makes things easier. You need not to take any decisions, others will do this etc. I hope you will enjoy your stay!"